“Your mom's enthusiastic spending is exactly what Jesus had in mind when he invented capitalism.”Tagged: Spending, Money, jesus, Capitalism, Diss
“And what Steve doesn't realize is I have a plan of my own. While everyone's focused on Snot, I'll be heading to the bathroom to share a doobie with the busboy in exchange for an angry handy-J.”Tagged: plans, Weed, Busboy, favors, Trading
“Tom: Hey, Stanny Boy! Frantastic! Get up here, the view is amazing! Stan: Did you hear that? They gave us nicknames! The only nickname I ever got was in eighth grade. They called me Stan Frank because I was always hiding and writing in my diary.”Tagged: Nicknames, Anne Frank, Diary, Hiding
“Don't- don't knock it 'till you try it! She had a replacement hip with some serious torque. It was like having sex with a Transformer!”Tagged: knock it til you try it, replacement hip, Sex, Transformer
“Jake: God, you had sex with a 68-year-old when you were in your 20s? Boyle: You know how it is, when you have a chance to bed an older woman, you- Jake: No, that's not an older woman; that's an old woman! That's someone's grandma!”Tagged: Sex, Old, Grandma, Bed, Chance