Quotes tagged ‘Grandma’

“I am my grandmother. It's actually kind of beautiful.”

— Jeff Baena, Alison Brie, Sarah, Alison Brie, imdb.com

“I don’t want to be dependent on anybody. I just want to take care of my grandma, maybe go shopping every once in a while.”

— Lorene Scafaria, Destiny, Constance Wu, imdb.com

“Jake: God, you had sex with a 68-year-old when you were in your 20s? Boyle: You know how it is, when you have a chance to bed an older woman, you- Jake: No, that's not an older woman; that's an old woman! That's someone's grandma!”

— Laura McCreary, Jake Peralta, Andy Samberg, imdb.com

“Matt: She named the baby after Grandma. Simon: She named the baby 'Grandma'? Matt: Her name was Jenny, Simon. Simon: Oh. I had no idea.”

— Molly Newman, Simon Camden, David Gallagher, imdb.com

“Eric: I killed her. She was old, and the shock of her grandson telling her that she was nasty killed her. Donna: Have you talked to Red about this? Eric: I'm not talking to my dad about this. Do you remember how angry he got when I didn't rake the yard? This is like, twice as bad!”

— Arthur F. Montmorency, Eric Foreman, Topher Grace, imdb.com

“Seth: Is it twisted if I find my potential grandma really hot? Ryan: Not when she looks like that.”

— Erica Messer, Debra J. Fisher, Josh Schwartz, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com

“It’s like I always say. When life gives you lemons, you sell some of your grandma’s jewelry, and go clubbing.”

— Michael Schur, Jean-Ralphio, Ben Schwartz, imdb.com

“I am not warm and fuzzy and you are basically a stuffed animal made by grandma.”

— Matt Witten, Dr. Gregory House, Hugh Laurie, imdb.com

“Steve: What are you gonna name yours? Snot: I want mine to have a sexy stripper name, like Honey. Steve: I'm gonna name mine after my great grandmother: Glitter. Snot: Naming your sex clone after your great grandmother. That's a nice way to honor her.”

— Ali Waller, John Unholz, Robert Maitia, Brett Cawley, Snot (Voice), Curtis Armstrong, imdb.com

“Who taught me how to play ball? Your looney grandma?”

— Craig Bartlett, Joe Ansolabehere, Steve Viksten, Arnold (voice), Toran Caudell, imdb.com

“Well, as my Grandma used to say, it's only a walk of shame if you're capable of feeling shame. See you later. Thanks for doing all the sex stuff on me.”

— Stephen Falk, Gretchen Cutler, Aya Cash, imdb.com

“What were Grandma’s last words before she kicked the bucket? “How far do you think I can kick this bucket?””

— underscores_are_good, reddit.com

“Some kids in Italy call me 'Mama Jazz; I thought that was so cute. As long as they don't call me 'Grandma Jazz.”

— Ella Fitzgerald, ellafitzgerald.com

“My Grandma Has Been Walking 5 Miles a Day Since She Was 57. She's 92 Now... And we have no idea where the fuck she is.”

— CobaltVoltaic, reddit.com

“I don't really stay out late. I'm kind of a bummer. I'm a nana. It's hard to get me out, and when I do go out I don't really stay out late. If I do stay out late and I'm partying hard, I will throw up. I don't have the tolerance to black out; I just start puking.”

— Jennifer Lawrence, harpersbazaar.com