“Charlie: Ohhhhhhhh shit! Look at that door, dude. See that door there? The one marked 'Pirate?' You think a pirate lives in there? Dennis: I see a door marked 'Private.' Is that the door you're talking about?”Tagged: Sassy, Pirate, private, mistake
“Mac: I do not even understand the smell coming from your body, dude. Charlie: Oh my God, dude, relax. Dude, I forgot to put on deodorant, okay? Mac: I have never once, never once seen you wear deodorant, Charlie, never once. Charlie: Yeah well, you never seen me once wash my testicles either but…”Tagged: Smells, Deodorant, Washing, testicles
“The outcast. The slut. The bitch. The whore. The lonely, sad, slutty, bitchy whore. You sat on the sideline while these four titans battled it out. You were jealous that a few pieces of poop got more attention than you.”Tagged: Outcast, Diss, Jealousy, Confrontation, Attention
“Dennis: You know what I'm concerned about? I don't want to get too bulky. I want to stay nice and lean and tight. I want to get that Jesus on the cross look. Dee: I see what you're saying. I think that crucifixion must have been really good for your core. Dennis: Oh absolutely. Jesus had like the…”Tagged: abs, jesus, lean, In Shape, muscles
“You wanna talk about stress? You wanna talk about stress?! Okay! I've stumbled onto a major company conspiracy, Mac--how 'bout that for stress?”Tagged: Stress, company, Conspiracy, Stressed Out
“D: Demonstrate Value E: Engage Physically N: Nurture Dependence N: Neglect Emotionally I: Inspire Hope S: Separate Entirely”Tagged: strategy, Pick Up Women, Game Plan
“Oh whoops, ooh! I dropped my monster condom that I use for my magnum dong!”Tagged: condom, Dongs, Oops, accident, Showing Off
“Frank: See, I would have gone in and bought a box of magnum condoms, thus demonstrating I have a monster dong. Dennis: Right, that comes off a little bit desperate, Frank.”Tagged: condoms, Dong, Desperate
“She's got that giant heart that's part compass and part flashlight and she's just the greatest person I have ever met.”Tagged: sweet, Love
“I got a band-aid on my hand. Not on the finger, the hand. That is an old man thing.”Tagged: Old Man Things, Old Man Jokes