Garden in an Italian family is huge. That's where we get a lot of our food from. That night we found out there was a raccoon that was eating a lot of our tomatoes. My father was like, ya know, we're going to murder these things. Get the anti-freeze. And we make balogne sandwiches soaked in…
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Sebastian Maniscalco
Sebastian Maniscalco (born July 8, 1973) is an American stand-up comedian. 2Life and career Maniscalco was born in the Chicago suburb of Arlington Heights, Illinois, of Italian descent. After moving from Chicago to Los Angeles in 1998, Maniscalco began his career performing at open mics in bars and bowling alleys while working as a waiter at the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills, where he worked from 1998 to 2005. In 2005, he began performing regularly at The Comedy Store in West Hollywood. Since then, he has done a half-hour for Comedy Central Presents and four-hour-long specials. His first special, Sebastian Live, was released on 2 June 2009. His next three specials were aired on Showtime, with What's Wrong With People released on 5 January 2012, Aren't You Embarrassed?, taped in Chicago, released on 14 November 2014, and Why Would You Do That?, taped at the Beacon Theatre in New York City and released in 2016. Maniscalco was one of four comedians featured in Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show: 30 Days & 30 Nights – Hollywood to the Heartland, along with Ahmed Ahmed, John Caparulo, and Bret Ernst. Maniscalco has also been on Russell Peters' Best Night Ever, Comedy Central Presents, The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, The Jay Leno Show, The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Conan, and The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. Additionally, he appeared in several films, such as The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature, The House, and Cruise, and he has a podcast called The Pete and Sebastian Show with fellow comedian Pete Correal
I try to be friendly, it doesn't work.
She thinks I have a mean resting face. Like when I'm not smiling or talking it looks like I could murder your family.
I'd like to think maybe I would be in the hospitality business. Although, I have a bit of a problem with people.
As soon I walk in, there's like 25 pairs of shoes right there in the door way. I'm walking around this guys house, with my socks on, talking to other people with their socks on. How could you have a conversation with another man, looking at their golden toe?
When did it become appropriate to come out in a flip-flop and sandals for a steak dinner? I'm trying to enjoy a T-Bone and I gotta look at some guys hoof.