“Tom: 'It's off.' McKenzie: 'What?' Tom: 'Me and Summer.' McKenzie: 'Was it ever on?' Tom: 'No, but it could've been, in a world where good things happen to me.' Paul: 'Yeah, well, that's not really where we live.'”Tagged: Relationships, Dating, humor, crushes, Breakups
“Paul: 'So what are you exactly?' Tom: 'I don't know.' Paul: 'Are you her boyfriend?' Tom: 'It's not that simple.' McKenzie: 'Sure, it is.' Tom: 'What, like, are we going steady? Come on, guys. You know, we're-we're adults. We know how we feel. We don't need to put labels on it. I mean, "boyfriend,"…”Tagged: Relationships, Dating, humor
“Tom [Starts to take a drink of champagne]: 'That was actually my nickname in college. They called me "Perfectly Adequate" Hansen.' Summer: 'They used to call me "Anal Girl."' [Tom nearly gags on his drink] Summer: '...I was very neat and... organized.'”Tagged: humor, College, Nicknames
“Summer: 'We've been like Sid and Nancy for months now.' Tom: 'Summer, Sid stabbed Nancy, seven times with a kitchen knife, I mean we have some disagreements but I hardly think I'm Sid Vicious.' Summer: 'No, I'm Sid.' Tom: 'Oh, so I'm Nancy...?'”Tagged: Funny, humor, Dating, Breakups, Fight
“Partygoer: 'So Tom, what is it that you do?' Tom: 'I, uh, I write greeting cards.' Summer: 'Tom could be a really great architect if he wanted to be.' Partygoer: 'That's unusual, I mean, what made you go from one to the other?' Tom: 'I guess I just figured, why make something disposable like a…”Tagged: Funny, humor, Dating
“Summer: 'I named my cat after Springsteen.' Tom: 'No kidding. What was his name?' Summer: '...Bruce.' Tom: 'Oh... That makes sense.'”Tagged: humor, Pets, Date
“People buy cards 'cause they can't say how they feel or they're afraid too. We provide the service that lets them off the hook. You know what? I say to hell with it. Let's level with America. At least let them speak for themselves! Right? I mean, look! What-What is this? What does it say?…”Tagged: cards, Feelings, humor
“Sex is better with someone you love for the exact reason that literally everything is better with someone you love.”Tagged: Sex, humor, Happiness, Smiles