Episode

A Smith in the Hand

by Seth MacFarlane, David Hemingson, Alison McDonald, Chris McKenna, Francine Smith (voice) and 14 others

When Steve brings home a permission slip to take sex ed at school, Stan flips out and demands to teach it himself. However, after Stan unrealistically explains the birds and the bees to Steve, he gets into an accident that causes him to take matters into

(3 total)

Characters

Chris McKenna (3)Seth MacFarlane (3)Nahnatchka Khan (2)Mike Barker (2)Steve Hely (2)Francine Smith (voice) (1)Stan Smith (voice) (1)Alison McDonald (1)Scott Grimes (1)Wendy Schaal (1)

“Steve: So you're saying I should never, ever have sex before marriage? Stan: That's right. Or angels will kill you.”

— Chris McKenna, Steve Hely, Nahnatchka Khan, Mike Barker, Stan Smith (voice), Seth MacFarlane, imdb.com

Tagged: Sex, Sex Before Marriage, Angels, Death, Sin

“Steve: Dad! There you are! Stan: Of-Of course I'm here. Wh-Where would I be? Alone? Touching myself? Steve: Yeah, right. Only perverts and Democrats do that.”

— Seth MacFarlane, Chris McKenna, Steve Hely, Nahnatchka Khan, Mike Barker, Steve Smith (voice), Scott Grimes, imdb.com

Tagged: Alone, Touching Myself, Perverts, Democrats, masturbation

“Francine: Steve, your father got hurt in a very tender place. He's probably frustrated he can't go to work, or mow the lawn, or clean the gutters. Boy, it's been a while since he's cleaned the gutters. Steve: Hey, maybe until Dad get better, I can clean the gutters. Francine: That's creepy, honey.”

— Seth MacFarlane, David Hemingson, Alison McDonald, Chris McKenna, Francine Smith (voice), Wendy Schaal, imdb.com

Tagged: hurt, Frustrated, Mow The Lawn, Clean the gutters, Sex