“Butt-head: [choking] Beavis! Beavis! I'm choking! Beavis: Yeah, so. What do you want me to do about it? Butt-head: Call 911! Beavis: Why don't you call? You're closer.”— Kristofor Brown, Larry Doyle, Beavis & Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com
“[watching a Violent Femmes video] I don't understand what the big deal is about breaking up. I'd just be like "Hey baby, get lost. We can still do it and stuff, but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."”— Kristofor Brown, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com
“[laughs while reading a label of superglue] It says "Use on wood."”— Kristofor Brown, Mike Judge, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com
“Butt-head: Uhhhh... I'm, like, angry at numbers. Beavis: Yeah, there's like, too many of them and stuff.”— Kristofor Brown, Mike Judge, Beavis & Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.com
“Butt-head: [to McVicker] You just weren't reaching us, dude. Beavis: Yeah, and if you try reaching for us, I'll kick you in the nads!”— Kristofor Brown, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.comTagged: reaching, Double Entendre
“Beavis: What do we do now? Butt-head: Uh…we could do homework. [both laugh]”— Kristofor Brown, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.comTagged: homework, Lazy
“Butt-head: Face it, Beavis, you have a problem with your penis. Maybe you should wash it or something. Beavis: Yeah, I'll just…wait, with water? No way, then it'll get all wet.”— Joe Stillman, Beavis, Mike Judge, imdb.comTagged: Genital Hygiene, penis
“Beavis, I have seen the top of the mountain, and it is good.”— Joe Stillman, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.comTagged: I have been to the mountaintop, it is good
“T.V. voiceover: You're watching PBS. Butt-head: He said 'B.S.' Beavis: But first he said 'pee.'”— Kristofor Brown, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.comTagged: Juvenile Humor, PBS
“Kindergarden teacher: Butt-head, are you angry? Butt-head: I'm, like, angry at numbers. Beavis: There's, like, too many of 'em and stuff.”— Kristofor Brown, Mike Judge, Beavis, Mike Judge, imdb.comTagged: Innumerate, Anger
“Oprah: Butt-head, you've slept with over 5,000 women. How do you explain the attraction to you? Butt-head: Uh…just look at me!”— Mike Judge, Mike DeSeve, Glenn Eichler, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.comTagged: Oprah Winfrey, Hubris