I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies...: How to find love & sh*t like that

by Madonna(55 total)

Facebook Do: Accept his friend request.

— The. I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies.. Betches, amazon.com

Dating Advice Guy Advice Relationship Advice

Give online dating a try. It opens you up a shit-ton of more possibilities and the more people you date the more likely you are to meet someone you actually like.

— The. I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies.. Betches, amazon.com

Dating Advice Guy Advice Relationship Advice

It’s much easier to meet a quality guy in person when you’re not blacked out. If you can’t have a few drinks without losing your right contact lens and left shoe, try meeting guys through some sober activities that you enjoy.

— The. I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies.. Betches, amazon.com

Dating Advice Guy Advice Relationship Advice

You need to believe this phrase when you say it to yourself: I’m totally chill being single but having a boyfriend sounds like it could be fun. Who wouldn’t want to date me? After all, I am the shit. Only then are you really ready to enter into the big, bad dating world.

— The. I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies.. Betches, amazon.com

Dating Advice Guy Advice Relationship Advice

Self-reliance is also a big thing...No guy wants the burden of constantly being the source of your stability or your good time.

— The. I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies.. Betches, amazon.com

Dating Advice Guy Advice Relationship Advice

Your sense of humor is, on a larger scale, the way in which you convey your values and worldview.

— The. I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies.. Betches, amazon.com

Dating Advice Relationship Advice Guy Advice

The very first thing any guy notices about a woman he’s actually interested in is . . . her face.

— The. I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies.. Betches, amazon.com

Dating Advice Guy Advice Relationship Advice

Instead, try to identify what it is that you really don’t like about yourself. It won’t be hard. If there’s a bunch of things on this list, try to address each one. The hardest one to fix is almost always the reason why you feel shitty about the other ones.

— The. I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies.. Betches, amazon.com

Dating Advice Guy Advice Relationship Advice

In order to be ready to date others you must enjoy dating yourself.

— The. I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies.. Betches, amazon.com

Dating Advice Guy Advice Relationship Advice

Once you are able to look back and laugh at just how sad and pathetic you were during those long weeks or months (hopefully not years, time is the only thing you can’t ever get back) then congrats because you are so over it.

— The. I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies.. Betches, amazon.com

Dating Advice Guy Advice Relationship Advice

In order for guys to appreciate you for you, you first need to figure out how to treat and love your body like it’s a temple, or an iPhone before the new version comes out and you stop giving a shit about cracking your screen.

— The. I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies.. Betches, amazon.com

Dating Advice Guy Advice Relationship Advice

If you don’t have your shit together enough to genuinely believe that you are fucking amazing and that any guy is lucky to have you, then going on dates is a complete waste of your time. I mean, one of the cornerstones of being a betch is not just knowing you’re the hottest thing in the room, but be…

— The. I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies.. Betches, amazon.com

Dating Advice Guy Advice Relationship Advice

Because there are over seven billion people in the world, and more than just one of them is right for you.

— The. I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies.. Betches, amazon.com

Dating Advice Guy Advice Relationship Advice

Let go of the ridiculous notion of ‘The One.’ Do it, right now. Shut your eyes, picture the words ‘The One’ and then crush them in your mind-vise. There’s no such thing as a soul mate.

— The. I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies.. Betches, amazon.com

Dating Advice Guy Advice Relationship Advice

The only reason you should be in a relationship is because your boyfriend/ fiancé/ husband/ lover adds something awesome to your life, not because he completes it.

— The. I Had a Nice Time And Other Lies.. Betches, amazon.com

Dating Advice Guy Advice Relationship Advice

MMWWWMMMMW&KKMWM MMMMMM&K WWW K MWWK KK&MWWWWWWKK &M& &WWMM&&&M&K K&&&MWWWWWWMK&K&MW WWWMM&KK WWWWK WWW& KK&MWWWWWMK &WW& WWWWWWWM&&K KKK&&MWWW&W WWWMM&K MWWWWW KWWWWM & K&&MMMK&& KMW& MWWWWWWM&KK K&&MWMMWMMWMK K&MWWM&K KWWWWWWWWWWWM WWWWWW & KK&&&MM& MKMWWWWMKK KK KKKK&&&MWWMMMWMWM&&MM&&K WWWWWWWWWWWM &M&MK K&M&MMMWW &MMKMMMM& KKKKKK&KKWM& KMKKK & WWWWWWWM& K& KK&K&K K&&MMK KKKK&&MM&K &K K M&K M WWWWW& KKKM& KWWW& &MK&M&K KK&&&&&&MM KK K&&K && MM KKK&&MK &MWW&K K K&KK&&&&& K KK W&K K W KKMM&&K MMWM&&K KKK&M&&MMWM&&MMM&K &WM K W& KM&MMMM &&WW&&&K &MMWWWWWWMMM& WW& KWW K&MWWWWWWWMMMMM&&&& &&MWMWMM& WW WM KMWWWWWMMMM& K & K WWM MWW K&MMMM&K M&K WWWW&K &WWWWK &W &K MW &MMKK&&KK KKK KWWWWMM &WM WWWWMWWMM&&&KK & WWWWWWMMMMK &WWWM WWWWWWWMMMWWWWWWWW&WWW MWWWWWWW&WWWWMMMMWWWWWM WWWWWWWWM&WWMWM&&WWWWW WWWWWWWW&MWM&WWWWWWW MWWWWWWWWW&&MKMWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWW&MWWWWWWWMW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW KWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWW& WWWWWWWW &WWWWWWWWK WWWWWWW WWWWWWWWW KWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWK MWWWWWW WWWWWWWW KWWWWWWW WWWWWWW K&&&&& KKK&K WWWWWWM W&WWWWWK WWWWWWWW W WWWWWWW W KK W M K KM W & K&K M W WW W M WWWWWWW&W WWWWW W W W &W W WWWW W& W KWW& W WK M W&W WW W WWWWWWWW WMW W W WWWWWWW WWWW& WWWWWWW WWWW & & K K K W M & W MK KK KM W WK K KK W K K& WWWWWW WWWK W W W W M W WW W W W WKM MM W MM W W&MM W W W WW WM &W W MW&K W &WWWWW WWW & & K KK & K K K &K K K && WWWWW WWK WWWWK WW WK W MM MWWWW WK W &W W &MM W&WK&&K M W MW W W W W WW&KW&WKW WW WW MKW WW MWWWW W KK M M M& KK K & M M K W K W KM KW MWWWW K

..........: :.. , . , : : :, . ,,,,. . : , :::::::, ,,, . ........ ., : :. , ,. . ,. , ., , ::,::::, :,, ............ : :. . , : ,,. . , :::,,,, ,,, .. ........., :, : : : .:, . .,:::::: .,, .. ..,,.,,:::: . . , . , . . . , ,, :. . ..,: :::, ::, ...,..,:::::: ,, . :: . , . . : . . : . .. .. . : :: ::, ,,,,:,.,::: :,. . : .: : :: . : : ..,.. . ... : ::, ::::::::,,: , : , . .: , , , ::::: : : . , . , .: :, ,. : :: : : : , : ,: :::::::,: :: :. :: : , : ,. , ., :::::::,,:::: : :: . , ,, . ., : , , . . , ,. : ,,: :::,::::: : : , . , :, . . :. . . : ,:::::,:::::::: :,. , . . :. : : .... . . : . ..... , : ,. . . .. ,.. , :, . : : . : ,. : ., :. : :,. .,, , .. . , . ,, , , :: . .. : . , :. ....: , , .. . : :: : . , : : .: : : ,.. , : , ,: , .. . . , , :, . . ,:, , . ., :: : ,: .. . ... : : , , : . . :. ,. . . : , : ..,, . ., : :., : : ., .., . .. ,.., ,. , ,: : . .: : , . .,: :.. :.: . ::. .., . .: ,: . ,. . .: , ,: . , . :,. ., :. : : :........:.,: .. ., : . , .. .. .,: :.: ,. , : .: . :: , ,,., : :, . , : : . . .: : ,: :,. : , .,, . , . , : :: ,,: .: . , ..,, , : , . : : :: : . :,: , ::: , :., . . :. : ::. , :. : :.,.,::. , :,,.. . ,, , .., : : : . :: ,::, : ,: .: :,. ., ..,:, :. ,. : , :. . . , :::. . :, : : : .:: ::,,,,, ., .. : : ,:,,: : ,, , ., , ,:,,. . . . . ,. . . ,:,, .,,, :::,,: :,, ,: . : , : ::::. .. .. : : ::: : ,, , , . , :,: ::, .: :,,,.. . .: , : :: , : ., :: :: :,,:: : : :: . . : , . ::::: , ,::.: :: . .. .: ::::,, .,: .. : : ,, :, :: ::.: , ::,::,, :::,. : ...::. , , :,:, . : ::: . ,, .:,: :::::,: : , : , : : . , : . ,::::.: : ::. :: ::: . : : :: :::, ,,: .: , :::::, : . : :,,.,. ::,, ::::::, : . .:: :::: ::: , ::,.: : : :. , ::,:,: ,. , . . . ,..,: ::.. . :::::,,,: : ::: ... : , :: : ,,,. : ::: . ,: ,: :: .: :::::,: .::::,: : ,: : : . ,,:: :: :: :. : :: , ,,::::,:: ,, :.: ::. ::,::: :::,,: ,, , .::::::

** * ~~~~ ~ ~~ * }* < ~ }} < } ~~~~~~ } } ~ } } * *} }} <} } * * } * } }* < } *< * } * }}< ~ <~ << <* < *~ << ~<}*~ ** } } ~ ~ < * <<~~~~<<<~~~< * < } } ~~ ~ ~~~*~*~ <~ }<} }} < }< * ~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ < ~ <} * }<~ *<~~ ~~<<< *~~ < < < } ~* < } ~ ~~~~~ ~ ~~~~< * }} *} <<< ~<~< <~~ ~~~~~<<<<~ ~<~* <* ~ } }} < * < < ~~ ~~~~~~~~ ~ * * ~ } < } ~*} ~<<<~ <~< <~~<<<<***<<~ << * * } * ~*~ ~~ ~ ~~~~~ ~ ** <*} *<**~ *<* ***************~* ~ } * ~ ~~ ~~ ~ ~ ~~~~ } ~ }< < ~} }* }<***< **< ****}}}}}*****}* * }} < } }~ *~* } ~ < *< <} ~ * } ~}} }}*}}}* *<< ***}}}}}}}****** ~< }* }< <~*}< < ~<~ ~< } }< ~*}* } *}}}* }** }}}}}}}}}***}**}*< *} }*< << * }~~<~ } ~<**}~ <*< ~~ * *< } * *~}* *** }}}}}}}}}}}}}< <} <~~~ }}*} *}* * * }*<<<< * *<~<* }} }}}}} < } < * } *}}<* *** } }}}}} } }}}} ** ~ ~ ~ }} ****< < <~< }**}*}}} } *} ~* } *** ~< }} ~*} **}** *** }}} } }}~ ~ ~} *~ ~***<* ~~< }} * * *}* ~ ~ * *}} }}} }} ~ * } ~< < < ~}}}}*~ ***** <<* }~ ~} }<< ~<< < ~} * ~}} }} *}}~**}}} <~ }** * <* **** *~* }} * }}} < }*}< ~* ~ } }* }} }* } * ~< * ~ } } }**} ~*~* *}}*}}}}}}<< < *< * * }} }} } }*}*<*<< }<~ ** < ~<} } <}} ~*** <*}<}}}*}**~ *** ~ * ~ }} *}}*}*<}*~ *~ * < * ~~<* *}<* *~~* *}****<< } }~* ~~* ~ *}} <*}<}*<<* < }* }} ~~ } } *<~*<**<*~<< <~ ~ <<} <}< < ~ ~ }}~ }* <** ****< *~ <*<<}*< } }}}* *~ < <<<*<<< ~ *}*} <~~} *< < ~~ *< } ~<* <****< < *~ ~~~~ } ~<~ < * < < }* }}}* * * ~<**<<~ ~ ***}*< * < ~ ~ * }}*} ~~< ~<<<~~ <~ } }~ } <* } ~ ***<< < ~ * ~~<<~~ ~<}*< < }<~}< ~~ ~ <}} < **~* ~<< ~~<<*~~ << << < * * ~~* ~ } ~ ~ < ~~~~ ~ ~ }}} } * ~~ < *} < * <<~~* ~~<< ~< < } <} } ~* } } * * } < ~<* ~~ ~~~ <<* *< ~ <**} ~ ~<}}< *} * <*~* << ~ ~~ ~ < ~ *<**** ~ *< * * ~ * <~ ~ ~<~ < <*** * ~ ~ ~ ~ <* ~ ~ ~ < } } < }* * < <~~} ~ ~<<~ ~ ~ ~ ~<*****}* ~ ~ <} } <* ~ ~**} ~ * <} < } } } < } **} ~ ~<~~ ~~<< < < }***}< ~~~ ~ ~ ~}<} ** <*}}} }*} * * } } }< * * }}*< < ~<<< ~ ~~~ ~ ~ }* *}} ~ ~~ ~~ ~ << **~ ** ~~~***< ~ ~*** ** < <~~<<<< ~~~~ ~*}* ** ~~ ~~~~ ~ ~~ ~~< ~ ~<<~<<~ ~ < ~ <<}} * }}<} } < } } ~ * ~ * **< *} <~ <~<~<<<~~~ ~~~~ *}**}} } ~ ~~ ~~~~~~~< <<~~ ~~ <*} ~ ~ ~ ~ < ~ ~ < } < < } ~~<<* <<~ <~~~~~<~~~ ~~~ ~~ * }*} * ~~~~~ ~< ~<<*} ~ ~~ ~ < ~~ < } ~* < * < < ~ ~~~~~~<~~ ~~~~~ ~ * }* ~ ~~~~~~~~ <<~~~<<*~~ ~~~

j V UU Uo jo V U oV V jV U VU V o UV Uo j U U j jVU U UU V jVUU UV Vj UV Vj j U Uj oVU UV VU o j VU joVUUUU U UVV U o joVVU Vj oo jj Uj joVU UUVj j jojV jVVUUUU UVUU UUo UVVU Uoj j jV UUV U o oVoV U V UUU VjjjooUUU UUUUUV VU V Uo U UV V o V jVU Uj VU Uoj UV j VV j VU VoVV UVjV UU V o o U Vo joV V oVUj oo jjU Uo j oUU Ujj j V U UUj j o oo j jVU j V VjVVVUUVo U o o oU UUU UU jUjo VU UojjjoU o jj j joUUU oVo j U j oV V j j Uj jooVoV Uj V U joV UU U j oV VooooooooVVU Uoj V o V V joUj jjoV ooVo o oU UUVoooooooojj o U VooooVU j U jjooooVVVojjooj j jjj U Vooooj j j j U UUVj j j UoooooooVVooj j V jj jo j j j o UVVoVUU j jj ooj VoooooVU o jjjj jj jjjj V oj jj jjjjjjjj j o joj jjjj jj jjo ojjojjjoojjj Vo V U oo j jjjjj o j jjjj j o j jojo joj j j jj o V jooo j j oo j o j j j o U j j j jj V V j jj jVj joooo j V jjjjj j oj V jj jjj V UUV jj j U V jjj j jo j jj U j VUV o jU j VU o oU V o V Uj jj V j V o V o o jo V j j U jj oVj jj o Uj j j jj o o U oo j VVo j j jo j jo j j j U U o U UVjU o jV U VU V VV VUoj V U o U U o UU o VV U oU U o UV o V V o U j jj o o U V o j V UUoooV VU o o UV UU U j U oo U U jjj j jjo V o o j o j o j j j jj o V jj UV o o V Voo j V j j U o oU jj o jU UjVVo Uo V U oj U jUojj U U V jjj oU j

WWWW&MKWWW& WW &W KWWWMMW&WWWM &&MWWWMKWW& WWWWM WWW KMW& KWWWK MMMMK K M& KWWK &MM MK MM& &MWMK &M W & MW& WW& MWWW M K KWWWWM& KMK K W& WWWWWM&W WWWM&KMWW WWWWWWWW KWWWWWWWK MWWW WWWW WWWM WWWW M& &K KWWW WWW & &W& M&K&W WK MWW WWWM WWM WWW KW W &&KK &M K M M K K &MKW KWW KW & K WWK & W W&M&WKW W W&M W MM&&WW MWW KWWKM W M W W K K K K &WWWW WWWWWK WWWWWWW WWWWWWW MMWWWWWW &M&WWWWWM KKKKWWWKK& WWK & K KWWK WMMMWMMK K &WWWWMWMWWWM WWWW&WKWWWWM

,,. , : . ,, .,:, .. : : :: : , . .: . , :: : , , : :: :,:.,,:,. . ., :: , : ,.:: , ,: : :: : , , , : : , , . , ,,,,, :: ,:, . :, , ., : ,, : . , , : , :: : , : ,: : : , . : , . : :: : : : : , : : . , : : : , : , . . , . , : ::, : :: . , .. : :: :: : :: . : ...,,,:.,,, ,,..... .....,,,,,.. ,,.:,,,.,: :,.........,,.,,:,,.. .....,,,., ,.. .,,,. ..,,.,:::,. ,.,,..,,.: . ., ,.. .,,.,:,:,, ......,,... ,. : ,..,,::::: ,.,,.:,,.. . , : ,.,.,,,,, : ,.,...,,,. : :,:,:::, , ,......,.. . , ,,,,::: , ..,,,,.,... : . :::,:: , ........., , , :,,,,. ...,,..,: :: :,:,, , ....... ::,:. , ......: ::: ,::, . . ..,.., ,., :,,.. , ..., ,,:: :::,, , , ,..: . .:,:,, , .. ... : , , ... ., : ::,: , ,,,, :: : .: : : :::, ::: :

~< < *<* * } <~~ ~ } * * } * * < << ~ ~ ~<*}~ <* ~*} ~***< } ~ } <* < <<**<<*} } <<~<<*< ~ ~ } <} } }} }}}<} } < < ~ } } ~ } ~} }} ~~ *< } } }<< ~ ~* } < ~ < <** < * } <* ~ <}<} }~ *< }*<}~* * < < * ~< }**~ < ~}*<} }}}}~ * **}< <}~ *<**~~ } ~ << } <<*}< * * ~ }* <~<*~ < ~*~ }* <~<* <~<< <* <<~ * * } }< } } * *~~*~ ~* } < }~<*~~* << <~~*<~<*<~ } <<~<<<~}<* <}* <~< * } * } } * < < * <**<~*<<< ~****< ~<* ~ ~* <~<*} * }* * ~<* * <<< * ****~**< <*} * <**}< ~<<* <~<*} * **}~ } ****<~** * }<<< ~**** *<<*} }* * ~*}}~ *~*****<** * }~ }**< <*<*} ~ ~~~~~ * ~~~~ ~~~~ ~ ~ ~~~~~ ~ * } ~ ~~ ~~~ < < < <*< * ~}} } <*~ ~ *< }}~ < * * } * *} } * } *}~ <} * }*}~ }* }*~ * ~ ~}} < ~ * * ~* *}< } < < < <} *} *~ } ~~~*} } * ~*~ ~ < < << < ~*~ } }* ~ ~ ** ~ ~*< } ~ ~**~ * ~

V j o j UV V o UU UV V o jU j Uo jV V o o UU V j U oo j UVoU j j jVU V V o o U o j jj jjjjj UVoo j UUVVVUUU o ooVUojjo oj jjjjjj U U o jjjj j V j o oo jj U j ojoj j o j j o V j jj oo U V o jo j j j V o oU j j j j j oU V U oU o U VjUU U j j oj o o o o o ojVU o Ujo V jVV o ojjjj jU o jj o jV oV U V U U U V U ojj oo o U V j U VU j jj j j j jV j V U j U o o j V U j jo j jU o j ojoU VU oV o U j oo o