Season

Season 5

by Ed O'Neill, David Faustino, Christina Applegate, Katey Sagal, Amanda Bearse and 4 others

(11 total)

Characters

Al Bundy (10)Ed O'Neill (10)Arthur Silver (3)Ron Leavitt (3)Katey Sagal (2)Stacie Lipp (2)Kevin Curran (2)Bill Prady (1)Peggy Bundy (1)Gabrielle Topping (1)

“I don't have to fall asleep after sex. I want to fall asleep after sex. I welcome the darkness.”

— Ron Leavitt, Arthur Silver, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Tagged: Sex, Darkness, Bad Sex

“Insurance is like marriage. You pay and pay, and never get anything back! Besides, the car isn't worth more than 100 bucks with both kids in it.”

— Arthur Silver, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Tagged: Bad Dads, Marriage, Slavery, Insurance

“This is bad. Can't eat, can't sleep, can't bury the wife in the backyard.”

— Bill Prady, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Tagged: Misogyny, Murder

“Hey, wait a minute, guys. I know I'm the new guy here and its not my place to speak up, but what are we doing? We're men. We were put on this planet to...well, I don't know what we're put on this planet to do—but we're here, damn it! And we're Americans and we have the right to use the best toilet s…”

— Stacie Lipp, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Tagged: Yankee Doodle Dandy, Russki, Frenchman, Men, Toilet Rights

“Feed me, or feed me to something. I just want to be part of the food chain.”

— Arthur Silver, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Tagged: Hunger, Food Chain

“Love, hate. Look, we're a family, what's the difference?”

— Stacie Lipp, Gabrielle Topping, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Tagged: Love, Hate, Family, Dysfunctional Families

“I left you plenty of food. It's at the supermarket.”

— Kevin Curran, Peggy Bundy, Katey Sagal, imdb.com

“Love, hate, look, we're a family, what's the difference?”

— Katey Sagal, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

“We're gonna go where people pretend to want to go when they can't afford to go someplace good. We're gonna see America. We take no map. We'll follow the sun. Stay in cheap motels and steal what we need along the way. We go west, past the cheese factories, where the air is fresh, the sky is big, and…”

— Ron Leavitt, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Tagged: America, Road Trips

“Well, because I just realized that everything I've been doing up to now, the bathing, the tooth brushing, changing of the socks, being nice to people, trying to succeed…it's all for nothing. All those things are designed to attract. Why should I be attractive? I'm married...with children.”

— Kevin Curran, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Tagged: Attraction, Hopelessness, married

“Peggy: Hey Al, did ya miss me? Al Bundy: With every bullet so far.”

— Ron Leavitt, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Tagged: Comedy Quotes, TV Quotes, Sarcasm Quotes, Marriage Quotes