The only people I ever made happy were divorce attorneys.
— Debra J. Fisher, Erica Messer, David Rossi, Joe Mantegna, imdb.com
The only people I ever made happy were divorce attorneys.
— Debra J. Fisher, Erica Messer, David Rossi, Joe Mantegna, imdb.com
Getting married and having a bad divorce is just like breaking your leg. The same leg, in the same place. I'm lucky I don't walk with a cane.
Four California divorces and 25 years of alimony will see to it you have no money in the bank.
Dorothy: Why did I ever marry that man? Sophia: Because he knocked you up! Dorothy: Why did I let that happen? Sophia: Because he got you drunk! Dorothy Why am I even discussing this with you? Sophia: Beats the hell out of me!
— Kathy Speer, Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, Bea Arthur, imdb.com
Things happened, you're damn right, things happened. 38 years happened. 38 years of sharing and... and crying and dreaming and fighting... and loving and... and children and diapers and... and... school plays and little league. And worrying if you'd get through your gallbladder surgery and wondering…
— Winifred Hervey, Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak, Bea Arthur, imdb.com
Why did Frosty ask for a divorce? His wife was a total flake.
My husband and I divorced for religious reasons. He thought he was God. I didn’t.
What do you call a man who’s lost 95 percent of his intelligence? Divorced.
What do wives and hurricanes have in common? On arrival, they’re wet and wild. When they leave, they take the house and car with them.
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
You know, the end of my marriage was a relationship without sex, and it was not pretty.
— Tommy Dewey, Michaela Watkins, Valerie, Michaela Watkins, imdb.com
What is the leading cause of divorce? Marriage.
Divorce is very difficult. Especially on a kid. Of course, I'm the result of my parents having stayed together, so you never know.
— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com
You gotta honor the end of the relationship.
Pornography is far less dangerous than romanticism. Both are fantasies; both have weak premises. But romanticism is why three out of four marriages wind up in divorce court—sexual unhappiness being one cause. Pornography tries to depict some reality, however. Naturally, it too can be misused, but I…
I see a nice-looking woman wearing a bikini on a beach, but I don’t want to tie her up and hang her from a meat hook. I want to fuck her and have her fuck me, because sex is a very constructive, exciting part of life. I think I’m open in terms of my own sexuality, and yet I’m also amazed at how prud…
One good thing I'd like to say about divorce is that it sometimes makes it possible for you to be a much better wife to your next husband because you have a place for your anger; it's not directed at the person you're currently with.
When you get divorced and you don't get the house (which I never did), you leave behind all sorts of things you don't have the sense to know you'll someday wonder about, or wish you still had, or, worst of all, feel genuinely nostalgic for.
You fall in love with someone, and part of what you love about him are the differences between you; and then you get married and the differences start to drive you crazy.
People always say that once it goes away, you forget the pain. It’s a cliché of childbirth: you forget the pain. I don’t happen to agree. I remember the pain. What you really forget is love. Divorce seems as if it will last forever, and then suddenly, one day, your children grow up, move out, and ma…
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