“Hey Baby, you know it's funny. Even though I heard it so many times in the court case, I still can't get used to the fact that your real name is Miles. It's a cool name though. I can think of a lot of great Miles songs. But we still have to get through all those Baby songs first. I can't wait until…”— Edgar Wright, Debora, Lily James, imdb.com
“[unimpressed after Malcolm Crowe's magic trick with coin] I didn't know you were funny.”— M. Night Shyamalan, Cole Sear, Haley Joel Osment, imdb.com
“Jessi: Those girls are gonna eat him alive...and then barf him back out because they're bulimic. Matthew: You're fucking funny. She's funny! We're friends now.”— Andrew Goldberg, Nick Kroll, Jessi, Jessi Klein, imdb.com
“What does a farmer say after feeding a stick of dynamite to his steer? Abominable! [A-bomb-in-a-bull]”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“You all remember Steve, right? The one who stood up in the middle of our monthly staff meeting and masturbated in front of everyone? Then we found out he had been doing this sort of thing for years and intimidated people into keeping it quiet? And then he sent an apology email where he didn’t use th…”— Bob Vulfov, mcsweeneys.net
“I hate writing, I love having written. Especially when I write with @Bic pens! I’m proud to be a Bic Ambassador so I can spread the word to my tribe about their line of slammin’ ink products. Scroll up to catch my Instastory and see my Bic in action! #spon”— Wendi Aarons, mcsweeneys.net
“As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field... But hay, it’s in my jeans.”— Brandon Gorrell, thoughtcatalog.com
“How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool.”— Brandon Gorrell, thoughtcatalog.com
“Two gold fish are in a tank. One looks at the other and says, 'you know how to drive this thing?!'”— Brandon Gorrell, thoughtcatalog.com
“Lina: Jane, I didn't do it. Jane: So you weren't drinking at work. Lina: Oh, of course I was drinking at work. But ever since they put in the new rules, I bring my own booze.”— Chantelle M. Wells, Jane Villanueva, Gina Rodriguez, imdb.com
“Sandy: You did musicals? I did a musical or two myself in college. Kirsten: Oh, someone please stop him before he starts singing 'Greased Lightning.' Seth: Do it, Dad! Travolta's your bitch!”— Stephanie Savage, Sandy Cohen, Peter Gallagher, imdb.com
“Luke: New year's resolution: punch people less. Ryan: I have the same one.”— Melissa Rosenberg, Ryan Atwood, Ben McKenzie, imdb.com
“Seth: Ryan, that's extremely minty of you. I didn't even know they had musicals in Chino. I didn't even know they had dancing, or... laughter. Ryan: That's because no one who lived there is as funny as you. Seth: So, we finally agree I'm the funny one. Well, look at that! Looks like we all learned s…”— Brian Oh, Josh Schwartz, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com
“Sam: She's a terrific person. She's smart, she's funny, she's horny. I mean, she's just the kinda chick you wanna stick up on a pedestal. Frasier: You know, Sam, it's always amazed me how you can elevate and demean in the same sentence.”— Ken Levine, Frasier Crane, Kelsey Grammer, imdb.com