“Keep your tears in your eyes where they belong.”— Michael Schur, Aisha Muharrar, Ron Swanson, Nick Offerman, imdb.com
“America: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other ‘cultures,’ use an atlas or a ham radio.”— Greg Daniels, Ron Swanson, Nick Offerman, imdb.com
“Crying: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.”— Greg Daniels, Ron Swanson, Nick Offerman, imdb.com
“Fishing relaxes me. It's like yoga except I still get to kill something.”— Amy Poehler, Michael Schur, Greg Daniels, Ron Swanson, Nick Offerman, imdb.com
“Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.”— Norm Hiscock, Ron Swanson, Nick Offerman, imdb.com
“If you repeat a word again and again it loses its meaning. Apparently this also works with heartbreak.”— Emily Horne, Joey Comeau, asofterworld.com
“Judge if you want. We are all going to die. I intend to deserve it.”— Emily Horne, Joey Comeau, asofterworld.com
“Better to have loved and lost than to wake up next to you every day.”— Emily Horne, Joey Comeau, asofterworld.com
“Do you think a city is complicated enough that we can say it has a sort of intelligence. No, I don't care where you work. No, YOU are the worst speed date here.”— Emily Horne, Joey Comeau, asofterworld.com
“I have found a way to watch video in your head. High definition, with instant replay. It's called having regrets.”— Emily Horne, Joey Comeau, asofterworld.com
“Give me liberty. I do not feel that you should have a second option here.”— Emily Horne, Joey Comeau, asofterworld.com
“It was a sweet day when I realized legal and illegal had nothing to do with right and wrong.”— Emily Horne, Joey Comeau, asofterworld.com
“When people say 'I don't see gender, I just see people' it's like saying, 'My heart is in the right place, but fuck I'm stupid.'”— Emily Horne, Joey Comeau, asofterworld.com
“I love you but I don't love you enough to give up falling in love.”— Emily Horne, Joey Comeau, asofterworld.com
“Clean living is less fun and you wind up feeling stupid when you still die.”— Emily Horne, Joey Comeau, asofterworld.com
“Who said life can't be an adventure? Because whoever said that is probably the villain.”— Emily Horne, Joey Comeau, asofterworld.com
“I know it's late, but I figured out where our joie de vivre went! We buried it in that graveyard. Here, I brought shovels.”— Emily Horne, Joey Comeau, asofterworld.com
“Yes, I am eating candy for breakfast again. Take that, doctors and lawyers. I don't need no fancy car to be happy.”— Emily Horne, Joey Comeau, asofterworld.com