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Michael Schur

88 quotesTelevision Actor · Born Oct 29, 1975 · United States Of America · Male

Michael Herbert "Mike" Schur (born October 29, 1975) is an American television producer and writer, best known for his work on the NBC comedy series The Office and Parks and Recreation, the latter of which he co-created along with Greg Daniels. He also co-created the FOX comedy series Brooklyn Nine-Nine, and created the NBC comedy series The Good Place. Schur is also known for his small role on The Office as Mose Schrute, the cousin of Dwight Schrute. 2Early life Michael Schur was born in Ann Arbor, Michigan to Warren M. Schur and Anne Herbert, and was raised in West Hartford, Connecticut. Michael Schur first became interested in comedy when he was 11 years old, when he read Without Feathers, a 1975 collection of humorous essays by Woody Allen. Schur said he found the book on his father's bookshelf and stayed up reading it until 4 a.m. Schur attended William H. Hall High School in West Hartford, Connecticut. Schur graduated Phi Beta Kappa with an A.B. from Harvard University in 1997, where he was a president of the Harvard Lampoon. 2Career Schur wrote for six seasons on NBC's Saturday Night Live until 2004. Soon after, he became producer and writer for The Office on NBC, for which he wrote ten episode

All Money (5)Sex (5)joke (4)humor (3)dog (2)Lies (2)Heaven (2)Gross (2)Anger (2)mistake (2)penis (2)Judge (2)Drinking (2)History (2)lying (2)

From “Emergency Response”

Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat and cats are useless.

dog fifty pounds Cat useless

From “Partridge”

There's only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.

Skim Milk lying Water Personification Examples

From “Camping”

Fishing relaxes me. It's like yoga except I still get to kill something.

humor Fishing Hunting

From “Win, Lose, or Draw”

Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

Clear Alcohol Rich Women Diets

Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

Scotch Hard Liquor Drinking Alcohol Quips

From “London, Part 1”

No, that’s Buckingham Palace. Hogwarts is fictional. You do know that, don’t you? It’s important to me that you know that.

Buckingham Palace Hogwarts fictional Important

It’s like I always say. When life gives you lemons, you sell some of your grandma’s jewelry, and go clubbing.

Motto when life gives you lemons clubbing Stealing jewlery

Boss man, I wanna go home early. Ooh, hold on actually, hang on. Yeah, no, I wanna quit and never come here again.

boss Manager Hang on Quit

Great job, everyone. The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone.

Sarcasm reception Alone

History began July 4th, 1776. Anything before that was a mistake.

History America First July 4

History began July 4th, 1776. Anything before that was a mistake.

History mistake July 4th

Sting like a bee. Do not float like a butterfly. That's ridiculous.

sting like a bee float like a butterfly Advice Ridiculous

From “Ann and Chris”

Keep your tears in your eyes where they belong.

Tears Crying humor

There has never been a sadness that can’t been cured by breakfast food.

Sadness Breakfast Food cured

From “Second Chunce”

Lucky for me, I've processed all my feelings. And I've gone through the five stages of grief: Denial, anger, internet commenting, cat adoption, African dance, cat returning to the adoption place, watching all the episodes of Murphy Brown, and not giving a flying fart.

Feelings Grief Anger Murphy Brown emotions

I'd wish you the best of luck but I believe luck is a concept created by the weak to explain their failures.

Luck Weak Failures

Time is money; Money is power; Power is pizza; Pizza is knowledge. Let’s go!

humor Funny Power Pizza Knowledge

From “The Alliance”

Studies have shown that more information gets passed through water-cooler gossip than memos, which puts me at a disadvantage, because I bring my own water to work.

gossiping at work hot gossip water cooler gossip is a thing

From “Office Olympics”

Michael is like Mozart, and I’m like Butch Cassidy. You mess with Mozart and you’re gonna get bullet in your head, courtesy of Butch Cassidy.

Mozart Butch Cassidy

I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl. So I’m wise and I have worms.

early bird night owl Early Bird Gets The Worm

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