“If any of you cross me, I'm gonna kick the testicles clean off your bodies! Clean off! You'll look like Ken dolls down there!”— Jessica Day, netflix.com
“You're dating a stripper, I'm dating a tall handsome doctor. We're kinda living the dream.”— Jessica Day, netflix.com
“Do not challenge me to a sex stand-off. I can channel all of my sexual energy into knitting. How do you think I made it through high school?”— Jessica Day, netflix.com
“I know I'm gullible because a lot of people tell me that and I have no reason not to believe them.”— Jessica Day, netflix.com
“I'm sorry for my friend objectifying you, but in her defense, you are fine as hell.”— Jessica Day, netflix.com
“I’m gonna end up alone. I’m gonna be a single old lady, flashing people on the subway.”— Jessica Day, netflix.com
“My boobs are loving this unemployed thing. They don’t have to go to boob jail every day.”— Jessica Day, netflix.com
“I brake for birds. I rock a lot of polka dots. I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours. I spend my entire day talking to children. And I find it fundamentally strange that you’re not a dessert person. It freaks me out.”— Jessica Day, netflix.com
“I’m only attracted to guys who are afraid of success and think someone famous stole their idea.”— Jessica Day, netflix.com
“I'm just saying when tragedy strikes, we have to look on the bright side. You know? Like how even used Mercedes still have leather seats.”— Cordelia Chase, amazon.com
“Now we play the waiting game…Ahh, the waiting game sucks. Let’s play Hungry Hungry Hippos!”— Matt Groening, Homer Simpson, amazon.com
“I’d rather let a thousand guilty men go free than chase after them.”— Matt Groening, Chief Wiggum, amazon.com
“Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait…wait. I worry what you just heard was: Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. What I said was: Give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?”— Ron Swanson, amazon.com