“What do you get when you throw a bunch of books in the ocean? A title wave.”— Mike Ferry, twitter.com
“Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter? I’m not telling you. You might spread it!”— Maria Monrovia, thoughtcatalog.com
“What did Taylor Swift say to the melon? Look what you made me dew!”— Maria Monrovia, thoughtcatalog.com
“What do you say to a herb that’s running late? It’s about thyme!”— Maria Monrovia, thoughtcatalog.com
“Old Fred: Hey, what would your friends be doing here? Ringo: Displaying. Old Fred: Displaying what? Ringo: Dis-playing around.”— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Himself, Ringo Starr, imdb.com
“John: It's blue glass. Ringo: Must be from Kentucky.”— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Himself, Ringo Starr, imdb.com
“George: Hey! There's a Cyclops! Paul: Can't be. It's got two eyes. John: Must be a 'bicycle-ops' then. Ringo: There's another one. John: A whole ‘cyclopedia'!”— Al Brodax, Jack Mendelsohn, Lee Minoff, Erich Segal, Himself, Ringo Starr, imdb.com
“Another Carver building. If I didn't know better, I'd say he developed an edifice complex.”— Bruce Feirstein, James Bond, Pierce Brosnan, imdb.com
“Felix Leiter: I give up. I know the diamonds are in the body, but where? James Bond: Alimentary, Dr. Leiter...”— Richard Maibaum, Tom Mankiewicz, James Bond, Sean Connery, imdb.com
“My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.”— Juliet Lanka, thoughtcatalog.com
“Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV? Too much sax and violins.”— Juliet Lanka, thoughtcatalog.com
“What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef but nobody can pee soup!”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“Crow #1: Did you ever see an elephant fly? Crow #2: Well, I've seen a horse fly. Crow #3: Ah, I've seen a dragon fly. Crow #4: I've seen a house fly.”— Joe Grant, Crow #4, (uncredited), imdb.com