“Kirsten: Is everything okay? Ryan: Yeah, it's fine. Theresa: I'm pregnant. Seth: Well, except for that.”— Josh Schwartz, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com
“What are we we do, man? I don't want to get thrown out of the hotel. I love the hotel. I wanna marry the hotel and have little gambling-addicted alcoholic kids with it.”— Allan Heinberg, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com
“Seth: So what's the GP, RA? Ryan: I have no idea what you just said. Seth: Game plan, Ryan Atwood. Ryan: You're just using initials now? Seth: Yeah. They save time. Ryan: Well, not if you have to translate. Seth: GP. Ryan: Game Plan? Seth: Good Point.”— Allan Heinberg, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com
“Sandy: You did musicals? I did a musical or two myself in college. Kirsten: Oh, someone please stop him before he starts singing 'Greased Lightning.' Seth: Do it, Dad! Travolta's your bitch!”— Stephanie Savage, Sandy Cohen, Peter Gallagher, imdb.com
“Summer: The other night, when we... had sex... you weren't the only virgin in the room. Seth: There was someone else in the room? Like, filming us? Summer: Me, jackass.”— Josh Schwartz, Summer Roberts, Rachel Bilson, imdb.com
“Summer: I'm busy. Studying. Naked. Seth: Is that supposed to keep me away? Summer: Cohen? You're at my house! Seth: And you're dressed. I wonder who's more disappointed.”— Josh Schwartz, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com
“Sandy: So, at this concert tonight, anyone there going to be doing drugs? Seth: I hope so. Otherwise it's a lame-ass concert. Sandy: Anyone named Seth gonna be doing any drugs?”— Melissa Rosenberg, Sandy Cohen, Peter Gallagher, imdb.com
“Luke: New year's resolution: punch people less. Ryan: I have the same one.”— Melissa Rosenberg, Ryan Atwood, Ben McKenzie, imdb.com
“Seth: How was the mall? Ryan: Eh... Weird. Seth: Yes. You've really painted a picture for me. I feel like I was there.”— Stephanie Savage, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com
“Ryan: You'd better pray for a Chrimukkah miracle. Seth: I've got Jesus and Moses on my side, man.”— Stephanie Savage, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com
“Seth: So, what's it gonna be, huh? You want your menorah or a candy cane? Christmas or Hanukkah? Ryan: Uh... Seth: Don't worry about it, buddy, because in this house, you don't have to choose. Allow me to introduce you to a little something I like to call... Chrismukkah.”— Stephanie Savage, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com
“Seth: Ryan, that's extremely minty of you. I didn't even know they had musicals in Chino. I didn't even know they had dancing, or... laughter. Ryan: That's because no one who lived there is as funny as you. Seth: So, we finally agree I'm the funny one. Well, look at that! Looks like we all learned s…”— Brian Oh, Josh Schwartz, Seth Cohen, Adam Brody, imdb.com
“Shadow: I think I'm losing my mind. Wednesday: Well, when will you know for sure?”— Maria Melnik, Mr. Wednesday, Ian McShane, imdb.com
“Barbie why did you order this test? For the love of God, are you a real doctor or a doctor like Dr. Pepper is a doctor? Hmmm?”— Mike Schwartz, Perry Cox, John C. McGinley, imdb.com
“Dr. Kelso: So what do you think? Dr. Cox: I’ll tell you there, Bobbo, either this kid has a light bulb up his butt, or his colon has a great idea.”— Matt Tarses, Perry Cox, John C. McGinley, imdb.com