“Sometimes, I don’t want to go anywhere, I think I’ll be happy if I never have to set foot outside the house again.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: indoors, hermit, homebody
“I’ve just got to let myself feel the pain, because if I don’t, if I keep numbing it, it’ll never really go away.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Pain, Numb, Feeling
“Sometimes I catch myself trying to remember the last time I had meaningful physical contact with another person, just a hug or a heartfelt squeeze of my hand, and my heart twitches.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: hugs, Pain, Alone
“I don’t know where that strength went, I don’t remember losing it. I think that over time it got chipped away, bit by bit, by life, by the living of it.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: strength, Life, Pain
“I can’t blame my parents or my childhood, an abusive uncle or some terrible tragedy. It’s my fault.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Blame, Family, Responsibility
“You’re like one of those dogs, the unwanted ones that have been mistreated all their lives. You can kick them and kick them, but they’ll still come back to you, cringing and wagging their tails. Begging. Hoping that this time it’ll be different, that this time they’ll do something right and you’ll l…”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Dogs, mistreated, Hope, Begging
“One minute I’m ticking along fine and life is sweet and I want for nothing, and the next I can’t wait to get away, I’m all over the place, slipping and sliding again.’”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Happiness, Sadness, Depression
“How did I find myself here? I wonder where it started, my decline; I wonder at what point I could have halted it. Where did I take the wrong turn?”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: depressed, Suffering, Questions
“The holes in your life are permanent. You have to grow around them, like tree roots around concrete; you mold yourself through the gaps.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Scars, Pain, Moving On
“He’s a master at it, making me feel as though everything is my fault, making me feel worthless.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Worthless, depressed, Dating
“Sadness gets boring after a while, for the sad person and for everyone around them.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Sad, Depression, Boring
“No matter how much I love him, it won't be enough.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Love, Dating, inadequate
“I am no longer desirable, I’m off-putting in some way. It’s not just that I’ve put on weight, or that my face is puffy from the drinking and the lack of sleep; it’s as if people can see the damage written all over me, can see it in my face, the way I hold myself, the way I move.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: unattractive, Alcoholic, damaged
“The more I go over it, the less sense it makes, and I can’t stop going over it.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: overanalyzing, Thinking, Confusion
“I have lost control over everything, even the places in my head.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Control, insane, Head
“I can’t do this, I can’t just be a wife. I don’t understand how anyone does it—there is literally nothing to do but wait. Wait for a man to come home and love you. Either that or look around for something to distract you.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Waiting, Patience, Marriage, wives
“I want to drag knives over my skin, just to feel something other than shame, but I'm not even brave enough for that.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Pain, coward, self-harm
“Beautiful sunshine, cloudless skies, no one to play with, nothing to do. Living like this, the way I’m living at the moment, is harder in the summer when there is so much daylight, so little cover of darkness, when everyone is out and about, being flagrantly, aggressively happy. It’s exhausting, and…”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Weather, sunny, exhausting
“After everything he's been through he deserves to be happy, I will never begrudge him happiness, I only wish it could be with me.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Happiness, Exes, Love
“What if the thing I’m looking for can never be found? What if it just isn’t possible?”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Dreams, Wants, Missing
“Who's to say that once I run, I'll find that isn't enough? Who's to say I won't end up feeling exactly the way I do right now-not safe, but stifled? Maybe I'll want to run again, and again, and eventually I'll end up back on those old tracks, because there's nowhere left to go.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Escape, Running Away, moving
“There will be no closure, no resolution. I lie awake thinking about it and I ache. There can be no greater agony, nothing can be more painful than the not knowing, which will never end.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Closure, resolution, Pain, Questions
“One more day of drinking, perhaps, and then I’ll get myself straight tomorrow.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Drinking, Alcoholic, Drunk
“When I close my eyes, my head is filled with images of past and future lives, the things I dreamed I wanted, the things I had and threw away.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Past, Future, Dreams, Regrets
“They’re a match, they’re a set. They’re happy, I can tell. They’re what I used to be, they’re Tom and me five years ago. They’re what I lost, they’re everything I want to be.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Happiness, Couples, Relationship Goals
“It’s possible to miss what you’ve never had, to mourn for it.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Missing, Mourning, possibilities
“On the train, the tears come, and I don’t care if people are watching me; for all they know, my dog might have been run over. I might have been diagnosed with a terminal illness. I might be a barren, divorced, soon-to-be-homeless alcoholic.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Crying, Tears, staring, Pain
“I feel as though we're having fight already, even though the fight's only in my imagination. And in my head, thoughts go round and round and round. And I feel like I'm suffocating.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: Fighting, Imagination, Head, suffocating
“It’s so hard to feel responsible for something you don’t remember. So I never feel bad enough. I feel bad, but the thing that I’ve done—it’s removed from me. It’s like it doesn’t belong to me.”— Paula Hawkins, amazon.comTagged: responsible, Guilt, removed