If He Always Does These 50 Things, He Has Been Manipulating You

50 quotes

Sometimes people play dumb in order to get out of things. They may act as if they don't understand your request, thus letting themselves off the hook.

“He justifies his control with insecurity. His last girlfriend really hurt him, so he holds out on committing to you. He’s been cheated on before, so he always has to know where you are and what you’re doing. It’s not you, it’s him, and he uses that logic to control your every move.”

— Kelsey Dykstra, bolde.com

Tagged: manipulation, Insecure, Control

“They try to control how you spend your time and tell you who you can and cannot hang out with.”

— Hattie Gladwell, metro.co.uk

Tagged: manipulation, Control, Time, Friends

“They always one-up you. No matter what problems you may have, emotional manipulators have it worse. They undermine the legitimacy of your complaints by reminding you that their problems are more serious. The message? You have no reason to complain, so shut the heck up.”

— Travis Bradberry, entrepreneur.com

Tagged: manipulation, complaints, One-Upping

“Feel like your spouse is a master at twisting your words into something ugly when they weren’t intended that way? Standard tactic.”

— James J. Sexton, huffingtonpost.com

Tagged: manipulation, Words, Language

“You may think he’s being kind and considerate by allowing you to get your say in first, but he’s really just using this as a means to manipulate you. Think about it. If you’re allowed to speak first, he’s going to hear all about what your biggest concern is in what he did and how you’re feeling abou…”

— Bella Pope, thetalko.com

Tagged: manipulation, Communication, excuses

“Your partner makes a small request that is easy to agree to and then follows it up with his real request. This makes it hard for you to say no.”

— Erin Adair, familyshare.com

Tagged: manipulation, favors, Requests

“A manipulative individual may insist on you meeting and interacting in a physical space where he or she can exercise more dominance and control. This can be the manipulator’s office, home, car, or other spaces where he feels ownership and familiarity (and where you lack them).”

— Preston Ni, psychologytoday.com

Tagged: manipulation, Location, Control, Dominance

“You’re told that everyone feels the same about you. By claiming that others agree with them, the manipulators are convincing you that you are the one with the problem.”

— Fabida Abdulla, newlovetimes.com

Tagged: manipulation, Friends, Lies

“If he says he’s going to call you at 7 pm on a Tuesday, but he does not do so until 10 pm the following day (or later), he is likely doing it on purpose. He wants you to be thinking about all of the possible reasons why he’s not contacting you when he said he would. He wants you kept on a short leas…”

— Christina Berchini, elitedaily.com

Tagged: manipulation, Lies, calls

“If conflicts from days, weeks, or months ago still bother you even though you’ve discussed them with your partner, it’s possible they manipulated you into believing the discussion was over before it was.”

— Suzannah Weiss, everydayfeminism.com

Tagged: manipulation, Conflict, Closure

“This one's the worst. This manipulation basically asks you to prove your love over and over again by giving your partner what they want. 'If you really loved me, you'd go to the store and get me some ice cream!' Or even, 'If you really loved me, you'd change your mind about having a baby.' This one…”

— Teresa Newsome, bustle.com

Tagged: manipulation, Love, Shame, Guilt

“Emotionally manipulative people are always willing to help… but it always comes at a price. They’ll always remind you of that one time they helped you out, and use it as a way to manipulate you into feeling like you owe them something.”

— James Worthington, thefusionmodel.com

Tagged: manipulation, favors, help

“A person who engages in pathological lying may accuse their partner of fibbing; a needy spouse may call their husband ‘clingy’ in an attempt to depict them as the one who is dependent; a rude employee may call their boss ineffective in an effort to escape the truth about their own productivity.”

— Shahida Arabi, thoughtcatalog.com

Tagged: manipulation, Liar, Lies

“In extreme cases, a spouse, close friend or family member may threaten suicide if they deem that it will get them care or attention or enable them to have their way.”

— Joseph Mattera, charismanews.com

Tagged: manipulation, Threats, Suicide

“Your partner might quickly become a charmer when it’s clear you’re about to end things. After all, who will they be able to control once you leave?”

— Christine Skopec, cheatsheet.com

Tagged: manipulation, charming, Control

“They might talk behind your back with others, or ask someone else to be their spokesperson so they don’t have to be the bad guy or girl. For example, they might have a friend tell you they want to break up, or mention to your best friend how unhappy they are in the bedroom.”

— Barrie Davenport, liveboldandbloom.com

Tagged: manipulation, Breakups, Sneaky

“Sometimes people play dumb in order to get out of things. They may act as if they don't understand your request, thus letting themselves off the hook.”

— Carolyn Steber, bustle.com

Tagged: manipulation, faking, Playing Dumb, lying

“When things don't go your partner's way, are they sick or weak or in need of care and support?”

— Teresa Newsome, bustle.com

Tagged: manipulation, Sick, Ill

“Manipulators take your insecurities and use them against you. They consistently point out what you're doing ‘wrong’ and how they could have done it better.”

— Eden Strong, yourtango.com

Tagged: manipulation, Insecurities, Flaws

“Manipulation occurs when someone tries to force you out of your comfort zone. And I’m not talking about going on a spontaneous trip or trying a new food – I’m talking about disregarding your physical, emotional, or financial boundaries.”

— Suzannah Weiss, everydayfeminism.com

Tagged: manipulation, Comfort Zone, boundaries

“Toxic people don’t argue with you, they essentially argue with themselves and you become privy to their long, draining monologues.”

— Shahida Arabi, thoughtcatalog.com

Tagged: manipulation, arguments, fights

“He’ll only contact you as much as he needs to stay on your mind. That’s why he’ll like your selfie or send you a Snapchat every few days. He won’t put in much effort, but it’ll be enough to keep you hooked on him.”

— Holly Riordan, thoughtcatalog.com

Tagged: manipulation, Effort, texts

“Taking control of money.”

— Hattie Gladwell, metro.co.uk

Tagged: manipulation, Money, finances

“He reminds you that he has options. He wants you to feel like the lucky one in the relationship. He could have any woman he wants and he chose you. Wow, aren’t you special? Instead of building you up, he tears you down with the reminder that you could easily be replaced.”

— Kelsey Dykstra, bolde.com

Tagged: manipulation, Options, Threats, Replaceable

“Another not-so-obvious way to control is for the controller to continually question the motives of the person they control, so the victim is never sure of themselves and, thus, always on shaky spiritual and emotional ground.”

— Joseph Mattera, charismanews.com

Tagged: manipulation, Questions, Unsure

“If you bring up something that’s bothering you, they make you feel guilty for mentioning it. If you don’t, they make you feel guilty for keeping it to yourself and stewing on it. When you’re dealing with emotional manipulators, whatever you do is wrong, and, no matter what problems the two of you ar…”

— Travis Bradberry, entrepreneur.com

Tagged: manipulation, Guilt, guilty

“People who have the intention to manipulate you will often appear as though they’re sorry and even do really cute and sweet things to ‘make up for’ the crappy stuff they’ve done, but they never actually say they’re sorry because if they do, they’re putting you in the dominant position which is somet…”

— Bella Pope, thetalko.com

Tagged: manipulation, Apologies, Sorry

“Gaslighting is when someone makes you feel crazy. You have an issue with their behavior? You must be crazy. You think they’re making bad choices? You’re clearly crazy. This is most damaging when it goes beyond just saying you’re crazy, to actually acting concerned about it. The secret weapon here: p…”

— James J. Sexton, huffingtonpost.com

Tagged: manipulation, Gaslighting, crazy, Insecurities

“Manipulators often try to intimidate others with aggressive language, subtle threats, or outright anger. Especially if they see you’re uncomfortable with confrontation, they will use it to quickly control you and get their way.”

— Barrie Davenport, liveboldandbloom.com

Tagged: manipulation, Intimidation, Threats, Anger

“Some manipulators like to make critical remarks, often disguised as humor or sarcasm, to make you seem inferior and less secure. Examples can include any variety of comments ranging from your appearance, to your older model smart phone, to your background and credentials, to the fact that you walked…”

— Preston Ni, psychologytoday.com

Tagged: manipulation, Criticism, Sarcasm