I just don’t understand women.
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I'm really freaked out by bumholes.
Where's the spunk, Adam?
I mean, I’ll find out when everybody forgets who I am. And then I walk around crying all day.
Yeah, you're brilliant! You're very dedicated. You're gonna make someone really happy one day.
Look... sometimes, the people we like don't like us back, and it's painful, but there's nothing we can do about it.
I experimented. Pot was kind of a compulsive thing for me. I tended to go away, just me and my apple bong.
Howard: How do you become a drug addict? ’Cause it seems you were in a tremendously sad place to become a heroin addict. Whoopi: For me, you know, it was the times. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Everybody looked really cool. Howard: How bad was your habit? Whoopi: Kinda bad.
I’ve been rubbing certain people the wrong way for quite some time now. And if that’s my lot in life, I’m okay with it.
Howard: Did you learn anything from ayahuasca? Miley: I did. You know what was crazy? I’m a vegan. And so when I was puking, I was puking up all the animals I had ever killed in the time I had eaten meat. I was envisioning all the animals. It wasn’t just cows and pigs and things like that. It was, l…
I mean, you have the correct attitude. I think so many people don’t understand what the meaning of consent is. It’s not like you start kissing and suddenly you’ve signed an implicit agreement to do everything in the world. If you’re in the middle of having sex and someone suddenly becomes forceful w…
Yeah. Yeah, I mean—it’s complicated. This was an essay I was very anxious and self- conscious about putting in the book, because we are in a current culture where everything is turned into a game of telephone and it turns into a headline and, you know, a pull quote and not a fully formed story. But…
You may not know this, but I’m actually a very modest and anxious person, and even writing 'masturbation' in the book was stressful to me.
Oh my God, everything from the standard flicking of the light switch to the less standard—I remember we had guests at my parents’ house once, and I decided that I had to go into the room and stare at each of their toothbrushes until I remembered exactly what both of them looked like. And then if I d…
I only went up maybe twice after smoking a joint. And I slaughtered. I mean, I slaughtered the house. I annihilated everybody. At one point [Sam] Kinison was at the back of the room, and just for fun he was heckling me. And I was killing him. I was killing everybody. And I walked off stage and they…
Alcohol is still one of the number-one killers in the world. Drunk driving and, 'I killed him ’cause I was drunk. I raped her ’cause I was drunk.' You don’t never hear nobody saying, 'I killed them ’cause I was high on weed.'”
What I don’t do is I don’t drink coffee. ’Cause I think that’s just one of the craziest drugs. I’ve done all the things. Coffee fucks me up more than any of it. I’ve done ayahuasca. Coffee’s worse.
In my twenties, I was a wake-and-baker. And then one day I just couldn’t do it anymore. One day I just sat on the couch and couldn’t move.
One day, you're gonna meet someone who appreciates you for who you are. I mean, there's seven billion people on the planet. I know one of them is gonna climb up on a moon for you.
I left rehab because I got bored talking about God and listening to people who could not succeed at a successful life of drinking and drugs and alcohol like a normal person does. When you’re happy, drink and do drugs; when you’re unhappy, don’t.