“I guess I'll have to bite the bullet. And by bullet, I mean her vagina.”Tagged: Going In It For It, Stupid Plays On Old Cliches
“I showed that kid my penis and restored order to the universe. It's called the boy scout rule of 'D's. And it always works.”Tagged: penis, restored order, Universe, boy scout, always works
“We've all seen penises we weren't supposed to see.”Tagged: penis, Seeing Another Man's Penis When You Weren't Supposed To See
“I would fight them, dude, but they've probably got old man strength. And I can't handle that. Not now. I'm tipsy right now.”Tagged: Fighting, Old Man Strength, Ageism
“I'm just a lat guy, you know? I've got these amazing lats, and I'm just living in an ab guy's world.”Tagged: Lats, abs, Weightlifting
“It's like if Picasso quit making music and just started fucking little dudes every day.”Tagged: Picasso, Music, Sex, Simile Examples
“That's how cool he is. He's not afraid to piss off of a stranger's roof. That's balling.”Tagged: cool, Afraid, Pee, Stranger, Balling
“I'm as real as the streets, okay? And I'm not about to whore out my rap skillz, with a 'Z,' to some adult nerds gone wild.”Tagged: Streets, Rap, skills, Nerds, Wild
“As the Silver Rights activist, Doc Martens Luther King once said, 'take ye sleazy… and I’m out.'”Tagged: Stupid, Take Ye Sleazy
“Instead of Coachella, it should be called Whole Paycheckella.”Tagged: Coachella, Jokes, Summer Music Festivals
“I, like, never have a thing. I'm actually kinda bummed that I never have things to do.”Tagged: Bored, Nothing To Do
“He's got a huge one. And I'm talking about his heart. Which would have to be huge to pump blood into his giant dick.”Tagged: Big Dicks, Hearts and Dicks