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Chris Parnell

14 quotesTelevision Actor · Born Feb 5, 1967 · United States Of America · Male

Thomas Christopher "Chris" Parnell (born February 5, 1967) is an American actor, voice artist, comedian, and singer. He is best known as a cast member on NBC's Saturday Night Live from 1998 to 2006 and for his role as Dr. Leo Spaceman on NBC's comedy series 30 Rock. In animation, he voices Cyril Figgis on the FX comedy series Archer and Jerry Smith on the Adult Swim sci-fi comedy series Rick and Morty. He is also notable for his voice work on the animated PBS series, Wordgirl, particularly as the narrator. He also voices "The Progressive Box," in a multitude of spots featuring the character, in Progressive Corporation insurance advertisements. He is also known for his voice work as Bob Belchers rich friend, Warren Fitsgerald from "Bob's Burgers". 2Early life Parnell was born in Memphis, Tennessee, to a Southern Baptist family. His father, Jack Parnell, was a radio personality in Memphis. He first attended the Southern Baptist Educational Center, and later graduated from Germantown High Schoo

All penis (3)Dick Jokes (2)Marriage (2)Sex (2)Bootlegger (1)Good Kid (1)defensive (1)Nazi (1)mean (1)Girls (1)Parents (1)Species (1)Europe (1)Misogyny (1)East Coast Lighthouse (1)

From “Anatomy Park”

Jerry: It sounds like you're about to say Jacob is your lover. Leonard Smith: No, no, no. Jacob is your mother's lover. I watch them. Sometimes from a chair, sometimes from a closet. Almost always dressed as Superman.

Lovers Parents Watching Sex Chair

From “M. Night Shaym-Aliens!”

Well, all is forgiven, because right now, I’ve got an erection the size of an East Coast lighthouse, and I’m coming home to share it with my beautiful wife.

erection East Coast Lighthouse Dick Jokes

From “Rick Potion #9”

Meh, try not to worry about it, Morty. You're a good kid. And there's not a premium on that right now, but you'll be getting girls sometime after Brad's out of shape.

Good Kid Girls romance Getting Girls worries

From “Rixty Minutes”

All this time, you've been thinking, 'What if that loser Jerry hadn't talked me out of the abortion?' Well, now you know, you'd be a doctor. Whoop-dee-doo. You'd also be drinking wine, alone in a house full of exotic birds. And I'd be on DiCaprio's yacht, banging Kristen Stewart!

Loser Marriage Abortion Wine Exotic Birds

Beth: When two people create a life together, they set aside their previous lives as individuals. Jerry: Gimme a break! We're not heroes for having unprotected sex on prom night.

Marriage Sex Unprotected Sex Prom Night

From “Interdimensional Cable 2”

Yes, I will! That's right, assholes! Take my penis. Take it all!! And tell Shrimply Pibbles that when the galaxy came calling, Jerry Smith from Earth didn't flinch!

penis galaxy Flinch Donor

Shrimply Pibbles: I've dwelt among the humans. Their entire culture is built around their penises. It's funny to say they are small. It's funny to say they are big. I've been at parties where humans held bottles, pencils, thermoses in front of themselves and called out, 'Hey, look at me. I'm Mr.…

Dick Jokes Genocide Species defensive penis

Ambassador: Mr. Smith, Shrimply Pibbles' life can be saved... if we replace his heart with your human penis. Jerry: I see... Wait, what?!

penis Organs Heart Transplant Life Saved

From “Killing Utne”

Hey, Europe: be gayer.

Europe gay style

From “Placebo Effect”

Cyril: Krieger's father was a Nazi scientist! Malory: And JFK's father was a bootlegger. Cyril: That's like comparing apples to... Nazi oranges!

father Nazi Scientist Apples to Oranges Bootlegger

From “Flu Shot”

When is modern science gonna find a cure for a woman’s mouth?

Science Women Misogyny

From “Sleepers Wake”

Cyril: As the Lord our God Himself is my witness, upon the conclusion of my current business, I shall return to this place, and visit upon you an apocalypse of such terror and destruction that you will rue, RUE, the very fact of your miserable birth!! Coroner: [munches on hot dog] I'll be here!

Threat mean Terror Destruction Indifference

From “21 Jump Street”

You'll never know what you can't achieve, until you don't achieve it.

Achievements Try Your Best

From “The Old Man and the Seat”

You can't stay mad a guy with this amount of talent.

Mad Talent

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