“Backup QB is the best position in sports. Fact: I get drunk all the time. I don't have to show up to class; and it's just like being a real QB but without all the pain.”Tagged: Drunk, Backup QB
“Once upon a time, some weak, pathetic pussy coined the phrase, 'Winning isn't everything.' But, for most people in most situations, he was right. But, I'm not one of those people and this is not one of those situations.”Tagged: Winning
“Denise Roy: Craig, I'm gonna ask you one time and one time only: Is that a pocket pussy behind your back? Craig Shilo: Um, no! Denise Roy: Oh my...a WHITE pocket pussy, Craig.”Tagged: pocket pussy, white pocket pussy
“Every time I put my enormous dick in this pocket pussy, I think of my dad!”Tagged: pocket pussy, Dad, enormous dick
“I may suck cock for crack, but at the end of the day, I lay in my bed right with God.”Tagged: suck cock, Crack, God
“This is special teams. We like to play hard, we like to party hard. We also like to triple team chicks, that's European style. Don't worry, our dicks will never touch.”Tagged: special teams, european style, Dicks
“Look, man, I'm just here to make my mark, let everybody in this school know that I'm the shit and they 'bout to smell it!”Tagged: Shit, make my mark
“Mary Jo Cacciatore: I've changed a lot, Alex. I used to not have boobs, but now...I have them. Alex Moran: Yes, I'm looking right at them.”Tagged: boobs, ogling
“I used to masturbate exclusively with motor oil….Yeah, I was that guy.”Tagged: masturbation, motor oil
“I sleep in there, party in there, I do whatever in there, baby. It's my hyperbolic chamber, man. Know what I'm saying? It gets your platelet levels going, and your hemoglobins and your DNA and shit. TO got one, man!”Tagged: party, hemoglobin, hyperbolic, Malapropism, hyperbaric
“I never stick my finger up nobody's ass but my own...and a flight attendant once, but that was because of turbulence.”Tagged: Finger, ass
“I'm gonna sack you so hard your dick's gonna go into your throat and your gonna choke on your dick and die!”Tagged: Threat, dick, choke