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Eric Falconer

16 quotes

All pocket pussy (2)Finger (2)dick (1)masturbation (1)enormous dick (1)hemoglobin (1)Dicks (1)Malapropism (1)Mocking (1)make my mark (1)Dad (1)suck cock (1)God (1)ogling (1)party (1)

From “It's Called Hazing, Look It Up!”

Backup QB is the best position in sports. Fact: I get drunk all the time. I don't have to show up to class; and it's just like being a real QB but without all the pain.

Drunk Backup QB

Once upon a time, some weak, pathetic pussy coined the phrase, 'Winning isn't everything.' But, for most people in most situations, he was right. But, I'm not one of those people and this is not one of those situations.

Winning

Get this guy a jockstrap and a cookie!

jockstrap Cookie Mocking

From “Pocket P***y”

Denise Roy: Craig, I'm gonna ask you one time and one time only: Is that a pocket pussy behind your back? Craig Shilo: Um, no! Denise Roy: Oh my...a WHITE pocket pussy, Craig.

pocket pussy white pocket pussy

It's like doing a velvet bag of puppy ears!

Vaginal Euphemisms

Every time I put my enormous dick in this pocket pussy, I think of my dad!

pocket pussy Dad enormous dick

From “Rivalry Weekend”

I may suck cock for crack, but at the end of the day, I lay in my bed right with God.

suck cock Crack God

From “There's Only One Second Best”

This is special teams. We like to play hard, we like to party hard. We also like to triple team chicks, that's European style. Don't worry, our dicks will never touch.

special teams european style Dicks

From “Controversy”

Look, man, I'm just here to make my mark, let everybody in this school know that I'm the shit and they 'bout to smell it!

Shit make my mark

Mary Jo Cacciatore: I've changed a lot, Alex. I used to not have boobs, but now...I have them. Alex Moran: Yes, I'm looking right at them.

boobs ogling

I used to masturbate exclusively with motor oil….Yeah, I was that guy.

masturbation motor oil

I sleep in there, party in there, I do whatever in there, baby. It's my hyperbolic chamber, man. Know what I'm saying? It gets your platelet levels going, and your hemoglobins and your DNA and shit. TO got one, man!

party hemoglobin hyperbolic Malapropism hyperbaric

From “The Fingering”

I never stick my finger up nobody's ass but my own...and a flight attendant once, but that was because of turbulence.

Finger ass

I'm gonna sack you so hard your dick's gonna go into your throat and your gonna choke on your dick and die!

Threat dick choke

You never know, some guys might just get off fingering other guys' asses.

fingering asses

Which one of you assholes stuck his finger in my asshole?

Assholes Finger

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