“I said don't mess with that stuff, because it scared me and what do you do? You go out and get the best looking fucking Ouija board I've ever seen and put it in the middle of our living room? Explain that to me.”Tagged: Ouija Board, haunting
“Have you been masturbating again? Because you don't have to tell me every time.”Tagged: humor, LOL, Friendship, TMI, masturbation
“I have a friend who's a girl. And I like it!”Tagged: Female Friendship, Friends, Friendships, Love, Friend Love
“I mean, I don't really deal with break-ups, but it's not so bad being alone.”Tagged: Breakups, Being Alone, Being Single, Sorry, Loving being single
“I support the arts and I'm a really good friend.”Tagged: Artists, Creativity, Friendship, LOL, humor
“Like I said, I'm creative, so I have a lot of outlets for it.”Tagged: Creativity, Creative Outlets, Being Creative, humor
“You know you’re not better than me. You’re not better than phone sex!”Tagged: Pretentious, phone sex, humor, LOL, Sex
“Okay, well you just go get your fancy pants boring job and I'll just be here being exciting.”Tagged: Exciting, Fun Friend, humor, LOL, Being Fun
“Sperm is ridiculously expensive: It’s about $700 a vial. I realized we’d spent $11,000 on sperm. I worked at a university at the time, surrounded by all these young men. I was just imagining that there was so much sperm around me, at all times of the day. All free! And I was going broke, buying…”Tagged: Parenting, Fertility, Sperm
“They call this a 'pauper's funeral' because it's the cheapest slot, at 9:00. But Dan wasn't a pauper to us. He gave us things that money can't buy. When he died, I found this on him. He always used to write in pencil. And he wanted to read it at his appeal but he never got the chance to. And I swear…”Tagged: pauper's funeral, forelock, rights, Customer, Client