“Give up, worms! My fight power is supreme! I'm too [punches water] freaking legendary for you!”Tagged: Machismo, Fight Power, Legendary
“I miffed off a wizard and he took my eyes. [pan down to see his eyes attached to his beard] I wonder what he wanted them for. Some kind of lotion, or potion...or time—traveling spell? I'll never know! Never, ever. Never. But losing my eyesight was only the beginning of my wonderful change! I started…”Tagged: yoga
“Look, sweetie, someday you'll be too big to hold. I'm as old as garlic balls if someone offered to pick me up and carry me, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Take it, we can get it.”Tagged: Old as Garlic Balls
“See, it's this little...period...uh, PMS thing. I don't know, I'm not a doctor. But I think that PMS stands for 'Pummel Men's Scrotums'.”Tagged: pms, Scrotums, doctor
“Mr. Halster has filed a complaint against you with Human Resources. Specifically, his claim suggests that you tried to barter sex in exchange for professional consideration. In the Human Resource world, we refer to that as 'being a filthy prostitute.' Now, since this is your first incident, and, uh,…”Tagged: Human Resources, prostitution, Menopause