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Quotes tagged ‘doctor’

(49 total)

God, doctors are just drug dealers with their finger up your ass, aren't they?

— Sudi Green, Gabe, John Cameron Mitchell, imdb.com

Okay, if there's one thing a Jewish girl knows, it's when to see a doctor.

— Amy Sherman-Palladino, Miriam “Midge” Maisel, Rachel Brosnahan, imdb.com

Julia Montague: How long were you in the Army? David Budd: Ten years. Julia Montague: Is that what you always wanted to do? David Budd: You'll probably laugh, but when I was in school I wanted to be a doctor.

— Jed Mercurio, David Budd, Richard Madden, imdb.com

To learn about this doctor, John Sassall, was really inspiring.

— Anders Frithiof August, Delft, Ole Lemmeke, imdb.com

If you must pay money, better to a doctor than an undertaker.

— Julian Fellowes, Andy Goddard, Mrs. Patmore, Lesley Nicol, imdb.com

Felix's Wife: Dr. Connors. I want to thank you for fixing Felix's back. He can even help around the house again. Phil: I'm sorry to hear that, Felix.

— Danny Rubin, Harold Ramis, Phil Connors, Bill Murray, imdb.com

I don't trust a doctor who can hardly speak English.

— Francis Ford Coppola, Mario Puzo, Hyman Roth, Lee Strasberg, imdb.com

I gotta check out my penis, I have to go to the doctor now? That's going to be a lot of fun; 'Where'd you get the rash?' 'Oh, I stuck a doll's head down my pants, Doctor. It feels good to me!'

— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.com

Hello, I had sex with my uncle when I was 12. He lived in Great Neck, he was a doctor. An osteopath--I don't even know what they do, but I know they're doctors. Something to do with muscles, I think. Neither here nor there.

— Larry David, Larry David, Larry David, imdb.com

Harvey: Nobody does anything as a courtesy. They sent you where they want you to look. Listen, being a lawyer is a lot like being a doctor. Mike: You mean how you don't get emotional about a client? Harvey: No, I mean you keep pressing until it hurts. Then you know where to look.

— Aaron Korsh, Harvey Specter, Gabriel Macht, imdb.com

Those are assets. Undeniable assets for any doctor, particularly a surgeon.

— David Shore, Dr. Aaron Glassman, Richard Schiff, imdb.com

I hate doctors! They poke you, and ask if that hurts. Of course it hurts, you just poked me!

— Laurie Gelman, Hilda Spellman, Caroline Rhea, imdb.com

Dr. Brickman: Hello, I’m Dr. Brickman. Sabrina: Let me guess, he has cold hands? Zelda: Don’t worry, he performed his first operation at two. Dr. Brickman: I even supervised my own birth — I’m a complete professional.

— Frank Conniff, Zelda Spellman, Beth Broderick, imdb.com

Dr. William Masters, he's the alpha dog of coochie medicine.

— Michelle Ashford, Jane Martin, Helene York, imdb.com

Some things no doctor can cure no matter how good he is, right? He can’t operate on a soul, only God can do that.

— Bathsheba Doran, Eileen Myers, Barbara Sanderson, Betsy Brandt, imdb.com

I should have been a doctor. I look amazing in white, my handwriting is terrible, and I love telling people to take their pants off and just leaving and then making them sit there for an hour.

— Danny Rubin, Azie Mira Dungey, Titus Andromedon, Tituss Burgess, imdb.com

Doctor says I have a big, spongy cervix. Oh, listen to me bragging about my vagina. It's last week's PTA meeting all over again.

— Brian Boyle, Erik Durbin, Francine Smith (voice), Wendy Schaal, imdb.com

Hold it up! You're gonna let some quack doctor just knife around down there? You are blessed with a great power, and you should never snip its wings. You should let it soar.

— Daniel J. Goor, Michael Schur, Gina Linetti, Chelsea Peretti, imdb.com

Life is pointless, Gandhi, and I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. The only thing more pointless than life itself is being a doctor. I mean, bottom line, you spend 8 years and 200 G's trying to get through med school and what do you have to show for it? I'll tell ya. A diploma on your wall, and…

— Debra Fordham, Perry Cox, John C. McGinley, imdb.com

We lose many battles in medicine. But few things are as satisfying as rushing a bleeding patient to the operating room and performing an emergent splenectomy to save his life. This is why I became a surgeon. This is why I'll never give up.

— Eugene Gu, MD, twitter.com

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