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Tom Davis

16 quotesDiplomat · Cook Islands Māori People · Male

All techspeak (2)Coneheads (2)Moon (1)Stench (1)Overstatement (1)Battle (1)Misandry (1)hair washing (1)alien invasion (1)vertebrate (1)lifestyle magazines (1)social security number (1)illegal alien (1)Greco-Roman (1)Borg-Warner (1)

From “The Mob”

Taylor Swift: I was at home washing my hair. D.I. Sleet: Yeah head, pit or pubic? Taylor Swift: I refuse to answer that question without my lawyer present.

hair washing pubic pit

From “Coneheads”

Lisa Farber: All men are pigs. Prymatt Conehead: Ah, pigs. An omnivorous domesticated cloven-hooved vertebrate that defecates in the same place it consumes. Lisa Farber: Exactly.

Misandry Men are Pigs pigs omnivorous vertebrate

Connie: How can it take so long to do a simple alignment on an American sedan with standard rack-and-pinion steering and MacPherson struts when your garage is equipped with the proper Borg-Warner digital hydraulic radiometer? Ronnie: Maybe because I was out back finishing a beer.

rack-and-pinion steering Borg-Warner alignment techspeak Beer

Connie: I think I'll have some Tang. Prymatt Conehead: Ah, Tang, the drink astronauts took to the moon. Beldar Conehead: Astronauts to the moon? [Beldar and Prymatt laugh]

Tang Moon Landing Moon Landing Hoax Moon

I was a young cone myself once. Before I met Beldar, I was very attracted to a young Thorasian forger. And I far as I was concerned there was no other life force in the universe that mattered. But then he got a job working at a volcano complex on some moon in the Petulaus Cluster. I never saw him…

techspeak volcano Attraction

You know, Connie, I read in a magazine that you can talk to me about anything.

lifestyle magazines

[to Connie after they return to Earth] Your positive perception of me is vital to my existence. Besides, it is not every day a father can give the world to his child.

parental love

If, for some reason your life functions ceased, my most precious one, I would collapse, I would draw the shades and I would live in the dark. I would never get out of my slar pad or clean myself. My fluids would coagulate, my cone would shrivel, and I would die, miserable and lonely. The stench…

Stench True Love Coneheads

Ronnie: Yeah, my grandfather's from the ‘Old Country.’ Connie: Oh really, which one? Ronnie: I'm not sure. One of the big ones.

grandfather Old Country

Prymatt Conehead: He was behaving like a flarndip? Connie: [Confused] Flarndip? Prymatt Conehead: A masher, a hustler, an uninvited grasper of cone. Beldar Conehead: [Overhears this and is irate] FLARNDIP?

Flarndip Sexual Assault

Athletic Cone: I have learned much from watching the Garthok battle. It has weaknesses. I believe I can take it. Beldar Conehead: Uh-huh. And let me know when Elvis gets here.

Elvis Presley Battle

Otto: Are you telling me you don't have a Social Security number? Beldar Conehead: Correct. Otto: Why not? Beldar Conehead: I am an illegal alien.

social security number illegal alien

Take my car, its reinforced alloy superstructure is far superior to that of your broken down, rusted-out shit box.

shit box used car

Beldar Conehead: When my people come to colonize this planet, your name will be on the protected rolls, and you will come to no harm. Gladys Johnson, Driving Student: You are wise. But there's a sadness to your wisdom.

alien invasion Sadness Wisdom

Beldar Conehead: An owner's manual to a Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable. Highmaster: Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable? Beldar Conehead: A personal conveyance named after its inventor, an assassinated ruler, a character from Greco-Roman myth and a small fur-covered mammal. Highmaster: Ah.

Greco-Roman Ford lincoln Mercury Sable

May I have 55 words with you?

Coneheads Overstatement

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