“Taylor Swift: I was at home washing my hair. D.I. Sleet: Yeah head, pit or pubic? Taylor Swift: I refuse to answer that question without my lawyer present.”Tagged: hair washing, pubic, pit
“Lisa Farber: All men are pigs. Prymatt Conehead: Ah, pigs. An omnivorous domesticated cloven-hooved vertebrate that defecates in the same place it consumes. Lisa Farber: Exactly.”Tagged: Misandry, Men are Pigs, pigs, omnivorous, vertebrate
“Connie: How can it take so long to do a simple alignment on an American sedan with standard rack-and-pinion steering and MacPherson struts when your garage is equipped with the proper Borg-Warner digital hydraulic radiometer? Ronnie: Maybe because I was out back finishing a beer.”Tagged: rack-and-pinion steering, Borg-Warner, alignment, techspeak, Beer
“Connie: I think I'll have some Tang. Prymatt Conehead: Ah, Tang, the drink astronauts took to the moon. Beldar Conehead: Astronauts to the moon? [Beldar and Prymatt laugh]”Tagged: Tang, Moon Landing, Moon Landing Hoax, Moon
“I was a young cone myself once. Before I met Beldar, I was very attracted to a young Thorasian forger. And I far as I was concerned there was no other life force in the universe that mattered. But then he got a job working at a volcano complex on some moon in the Petulaus Cluster. I never saw him…”Tagged: techspeak, volcano, Attraction
“You know, Connie, I read in a magazine that you can talk to me about anything.”Tagged: lifestyle magazines
“[to Connie after they return to Earth] Your positive perception of me is vital to my existence. Besides, it is not every day a father can give the world to his child.”Tagged: parental love
“If, for some reason your life functions ceased, my most precious one, I would collapse, I would draw the shades and I would live in the dark. I would never get out of my slar pad or clean myself. My fluids would coagulate, my cone would shrivel, and I would die, miserable and lonely. The stench…”Tagged: Stench, True Love, Coneheads
“Ronnie: Yeah, my grandfather's from the ‘Old Country.’ Connie: Oh really, which one? Ronnie: I'm not sure. One of the big ones.”Tagged: grandfather, Old Country
“Prymatt Conehead: He was behaving like a flarndip? Connie: [Confused] Flarndip? Prymatt Conehead: A masher, a hustler, an uninvited grasper of cone. Beldar Conehead: [Overhears this and is irate] FLARNDIP?”Tagged: Flarndip, Sexual Assault
“Athletic Cone: I have learned much from watching the Garthok battle. It has weaknesses. I believe I can take it. Beldar Conehead: Uh-huh. And let me know when Elvis gets here.”Tagged: Elvis Presley, Battle
“Otto: Are you telling me you don't have a Social Security number? Beldar Conehead: Correct. Otto: Why not? Beldar Conehead: I am an illegal alien.”Tagged: social security number, illegal alien
“Take my car, its reinforced alloy superstructure is far superior to that of your broken down, rusted-out shit box.”Tagged: shit box, used car
“Beldar Conehead: When my people come to colonize this planet, your name will be on the protected rolls, and you will come to no harm. Gladys Johnson, Driving Student: You are wise. But there's a sadness to your wisdom.”Tagged: alien invasion, Sadness, Wisdom
“Beldar Conehead: An owner's manual to a Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable. Highmaster: Ford Lincoln Mercury Sable? Beldar Conehead: A personal conveyance named after its inventor, an assassinated ruler, a character from Greco-Roman myth and a small fur-covered mammal. Highmaster: Ah.”Tagged: Greco-Roman, Ford, lincoln, Mercury, Sable