Bonnie Turner

24 quotes

Screenwriter · United States Of America · Female

All Coneheads (2)techspeak (2)Language (2)Borg-Warner (1)carnation (1)Stench (1)lifestyle magazines (1)Battle (1)breasts (1)Moon (1)Misandry (1)alien invasion (1)vertebrate (1)Overstatement (1)english (1)

From “That '70s Pilot”

“I may not say this right because I am new to English, but she has tremendous breasts, yes?”

Tagged: english, Language, breasts, tremendous

“A car is not a bedroom on wheels.”

Tagged: Car, bedroom, wheels

From “Eric's Birthday”

“Eric: Well, first the egg travels down the fallopian tube to the uterus where it attaches to the wall... Red: Eric, for God's sakes, that's no language for a woman to hear!”

Tagged: egg, fallopian tube, uterus, Pregnancy, Language

From “That Disco Episode”

“Eric: I like you. Donna: So... you're in like with me?”

Tagged: like, Crush, Relationship

From “Sunday, Bloody Sunday”

“The three true branches of the government are: military, corporate and Hollywood.”

Tagged: branches of government, Military, corporate, Hollywood

From “The Best Christmas Ever”

“Laurie: Oh, I like to date around. Eric: [coughs] Slut! Kitty: Bless you. Eric: Thanks, Mom.”

Tagged: Date, Insult, Parent Moments

From “Bye-Bye Basement”

“Things at ballet class have taken a turn for the worse. Somehow, I've become one of the girls...a hairy, brown girl.”

Tagged: ballet class, Worse, Girls, Hairy

“God, what did you have for breakfast this morning? Carnation Instant Bitch?”

Tagged: breakfast, Morning, carnation, Instant, Diss

From “Brains and Eggs”

“I think we've underestimated the life on this planet. The people have so much courage. Here they are hurling through space on a molten rock at 67,000 miles an hour and the only thing that keeps them from flying out of their shoes is their misplaced faith in gravity.”

Tagged: Courage, gravity

From “Coneheads”

“Lisa Farber: All men are pigs. Prymatt Conehead: Ah, pigs. An omnivorous domesticated cloven-hooved vertebrate that defecates in the same place it consumes. Lisa Farber: Exactly.”

Tagged: Misandry, Men are Pigs, pigs, omnivorous, vertebrate

“Connie: How can it take so long to do a simple alignment on an American sedan with standard rack-and-pinion steering and MacPherson struts when your garage is equipped with the proper Borg-Warner digital hydraulic radiometer? Ronnie: Maybe because I was out back finishing a beer.”

Tagged: rack-and-pinion steering, Borg-Warner, alignment, techspeak, Beer

“Connie: I think I'll have some Tang. Prymatt Conehead: Ah, Tang, the drink astronauts took to the moon. Beldar Conehead: Astronauts to the moon? [Beldar and Prymatt laugh]”

Tagged: Tang, Moon Landing, Moon Landing Hoax, Moon

“I was a young cone myself once. Before I met Beldar, I was very attracted to a young Thorasian forger. And I far as I was concerned there was no other life force in the universe that mattered. But then he got a job working at a volcano complex on some moon in the Petulaus Cluster. I never saw him…”

Tagged: techspeak, volcano, Attraction

“You know, Connie, I read in a magazine that you can talk to me about anything.”

Tagged: lifestyle magazines

“[to Connie after they return to Earth] Your positive perception of me is vital to my existence. Besides, it is not every day a father can give the world to his child.”

Tagged: parental love

“If, for some reason your life functions ceased, my most precious one, I would collapse, I would draw the shades and I would live in the dark. I would never get out of my slar pad or clean myself. My fluids would coagulate, my cone would shrivel, and I would die, miserable and lonely. The stench…”

Tagged: Stench, True Love, Coneheads

“Ronnie: Yeah, my grandfather's from the ‘Old Country.’ Connie: Oh really, which one? Ronnie: I'm not sure. One of the big ones.”

Tagged: grandfather, Old Country

“Prymatt Conehead: He was behaving like a flarndip? Connie: [Confused] Flarndip? Prymatt Conehead: A masher, a hustler, an uninvited grasper of cone. Beldar Conehead: [Overhears this and is irate] FLARNDIP?”

Tagged: Flarndip, Sexual Assault

“Athletic Cone: I have learned much from watching the Garthok battle. It has weaknesses. I believe I can take it. Beldar Conehead: Uh-huh. And let me know when Elvis gets here.”

Tagged: Elvis Presley, Battle

“Otto: Are you telling me you don't have a Social Security number? Beldar Conehead: Correct. Otto: Why not? Beldar Conehead: I am an illegal alien.”

Tagged: social security number, illegal alien

Bonnie Turner

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