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Bonnie Turner

24 quotesScreenwriter · United States Of America · Female

All Coneheads (2)techspeak (2)Language (2)Borg-Warner (1)carnation (1)Stench (1)lifestyle magazines (1)Battle (1)breasts (1)Moon (1)Misandry (1)alien invasion (1)vertebrate (1)Overstatement (1)english (1)

From “That '70s Pilot”

I may not say this right because I am new to English, but she has tremendous breasts, yes?

english Language breasts tremendous

A car is not a bedroom on wheels.

Car bedroom wheels

From “Eric's Birthday”

Eric: Well, first the egg travels down the fallopian tube to the uterus where it attaches to the wall... Red: Eric, for God's sakes, that's no language for a woman to hear!

egg fallopian tube uterus Pregnancy Language

From “That Disco Episode”

Eric: I like you. Donna: So... you're in like with me?

like Crush Relationship

From “Sunday, Bloody Sunday”

The three true branches of the government are: military, corporate and Hollywood.

branches of government Military corporate Hollywood

From “The Best Christmas Ever”

Laurie: Oh, I like to date around. Eric: [coughs] Slut! Kitty: Bless you. Eric: Thanks, Mom.

Date Insult Parent Moments

From “Bye-Bye Basement”

Things at ballet class have taken a turn for the worse. Somehow, I've become one of the girls...a hairy, brown girl.

ballet class Worse Girls Hairy

God, what did you have for breakfast this morning? Carnation Instant Bitch?

breakfast Morning carnation Instant Diss

From “Brains and Eggs”

I think we've underestimated the life on this planet. The people have so much courage. Here they are hurling through space on a molten rock at 67,000 miles an hour and the only thing that keeps them from flying out of their shoes is their misplaced faith in gravity.

Courage gravity

From “Coneheads”

Lisa Farber: All men are pigs. Prymatt Conehead: Ah, pigs. An omnivorous domesticated cloven-hooved vertebrate that defecates in the same place it consumes. Lisa Farber: Exactly.

Misandry Men are Pigs pigs omnivorous vertebrate

Connie: How can it take so long to do a simple alignment on an American sedan with standard rack-and-pinion steering and MacPherson struts when your garage is equipped with the proper Borg-Warner digital hydraulic radiometer? Ronnie: Maybe because I was out back finishing a beer.

rack-and-pinion steering Borg-Warner alignment techspeak Beer

Connie: I think I'll have some Tang. Prymatt Conehead: Ah, Tang, the drink astronauts took to the moon. Beldar Conehead: Astronauts to the moon? [Beldar and Prymatt laugh]

Tang Moon Landing Moon Landing Hoax Moon

I was a young cone myself once. Before I met Beldar, I was very attracted to a young Thorasian forger. And I far as I was concerned there was no other life force in the universe that mattered. But then he got a job working at a volcano complex on some moon in the Petulaus Cluster. I never saw him…

techspeak volcano Attraction

You know, Connie, I read in a magazine that you can talk to me about anything.

lifestyle magazines

[to Connie after they return to Earth] Your positive perception of me is vital to my existence. Besides, it is not every day a father can give the world to his child.

parental love

If, for some reason your life functions ceased, my most precious one, I would collapse, I would draw the shades and I would live in the dark. I would never get out of my slar pad or clean myself. My fluids would coagulate, my cone would shrivel, and I would die, miserable and lonely. The stench…

Stench True Love Coneheads

Ronnie: Yeah, my grandfather's from the ‘Old Country.’ Connie: Oh really, which one? Ronnie: I'm not sure. One of the big ones.

grandfather Old Country

Prymatt Conehead: He was behaving like a flarndip? Connie: [Confused] Flarndip? Prymatt Conehead: A masher, a hustler, an uninvited grasper of cone. Beldar Conehead: [Overhears this and is irate] FLARNDIP?

Flarndip Sexual Assault

Athletic Cone: I have learned much from watching the Garthok battle. It has weaknesses. I believe I can take it. Beldar Conehead: Uh-huh. And let me know when Elvis gets here.

Elvis Presley Battle

Otto: Are you telling me you don't have a Social Security number? Beldar Conehead: Correct. Otto: Why not? Beldar Conehead: I am an illegal alien.

social security number illegal alien

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