“Do colleges have communal showers? I'm scared guys will make fun of my flat butt.”
More from Michael Patrick O'Brien
“I like you and I'm glad I met you, and I don't know. I don't know, you just make me happy…”
“His soulmate is on a date with a strong, handsome milk celebrity.”
“I'm gonna go get a picture of them for my vision board.”
“I'll go do a little harmless flirting. But there will be no tequila and no banging.”