And of course the swastikas that were on the latest newsletter were supposed to have been octopuses. I am a very bad artist, and I apologize to any student I may have offended.

accident Artist mistake newsletter

From “Ride the Ram”

Hey, I realized that this friendship is, it's fools gold.

Friendship Metaphor Fools Gold

From “Kinda Sorta”

I like you and I'm glad I met you, and I don't know. I don't know, you just make me happy to be in Toledo.

Crush romance Happy Love

His soulmate is on a date with a strong, handsome milk celebrity.

Date Strong Handsome soulmate

I'm gonna go get a picture of them for my vision board.

photo Vision Board Goals

I'll go do a little harmless flirting. But there will be no tequila and no banging.

Flirting Drinks Hookup banging

Do colleges have communal showers? I'm scared guys will make fun of my flat butt.

College Questions Flat Butt teasing

It's like I've been on an escalator, you know? And if I'm not careful I'm gonna get my shoelaces caught in that escalator. It's gonna pull me in and it's gonna grind me into a pulp.

Escalator Stuck Pulp Metaphor Examples

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