“Time flies when you throw your obnoxious alarm clock across the room.”— Unknown, tcat.tcTagged: time flies, cliche, Obnoxious, Alarm Clock, Puns
“My body is like a dictionary filled with blank pages: thick and no definition.”— Unknown, tcat.tcTagged: Body, Dictionary, Puns
“I hate change but I also hate change, so if the US gets rid of pennies and nickels I’m not sure how I’ll feel.”— Unknown, tcat.tcTagged: Change, Pennies, Nickels, currency, Puns
“My vacuum cleaner broke in the middle of cleaning and I can’t tell if the situation sucks or not.”— Unknown, tcat.tcTagged: Vacuum Cleaners, Puns
“Why did the yogurt go to the art exhibit? Because it was cultured.”— Unknown, tcat.tcTagged: yogurt, Culture, Art Exhibit, Puns
“A stinky man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, it isn’t of soap.”— Unknown, tcat.tcTagged: Stinky, dirty, soap, Malodorous, Puns
“Someone gave me the wrong directions to a massage parlor—it rubbed me the wrong way.”— Unknown, tcat.tcTagged: Massage Parlors, Wrong Directions, Puns
“Shout ‘out’ to baseball players who get three strikes.”— Unknown, tcat.tcTagged: baseball, Three Strikes, Puns
“How do you make a digital school bus? With special effects.”— Unknown, tcat.tcTagged: Special Effects, digital, Puns
“Who loves organic orange soda? Kale loves organic orange soda.”— Unknown, tcat.tcTagged: soda, Organic, Kale, Puns
“How do you impress a baker when you’re taking his daughter on a date? Bring her flours.”— Unknown, tcat.tcTagged: Impressive, baker, Daughter, Dating, Flowers
“The smell of a deli can make you crave a sandwich subconsciously.”— Unknown, tcat.tcTagged: Deli, Aromas, sandwiches, Craving, Subconscious
“What do you call the sound a dog makes when it’s choking on a piece of its owner’s jewelry? A diamond in the ruff.”— Unknown, tcat.tcTagged: Dogs, jewelry, Puns
“What did Lil Jon do when the hardware store employee tried to sell him a lightbulb? Turned down 4 Watt.”— Unknown, tcat.tcTagged: Lil Jon, Lightbulb, Hardware Stores, Puns
“What do you call the heavy breathing someone makes while trying to hold their downward facing dog pose? Yoga pants.”— Unknown, tcat.tcTagged: Heavy Breathing, Downward Dog, yoga, yoga pants, Puns
“Fill out job applications in crayon and if you don’t get hired just blame it on your color.”— Unknown, tcat.tcTagged: Job Applications, crayon, racism, crying wolf, Puns
“What do auditioning for an acting role and playing sports have in common? If you break a leg, you get cast.”— Unknown, tcat.tcTagged: Audition, Acting, Cliches, Puns
“Did you hear about the sensitive burglar? He takes things personally.”— Unknown, tcat.tcTagged: Burglars, Sensitive, Puns
“Taking things literally can lead to confusion, but at the end of the day, 11:59.”— Unknown, tcat.tcTagged: Literal, Confusion, Puns