“[as Abraham Lincoln giving the Gettysburg Address] When I almost scored with four chicks seven years ago, this one chick's father brought forth upon me a prostitute. Huh-huh. Because some dudes just weren't created equal. Huh-huh.”— Kristofor Brown, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.comTagged: Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg Address, Prostitute
“Burger World manager: You don't get workers compensation for fighting, it has to be an accident. Beavis: You mean we, like, need to poop in our pants?”— Dave Hughes, Beavis, Mike Judge, imdb.comTagged: accident, Fecal Incontinence
“Uhh, the Yiddish are coming. Huh-huh-huh. The Yiddish are coming.”— Kristofor Brown, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.comTagged: british, Yiddish
“Butt-head: Uhh, that doesn't sound right. It should be like, Butt-head and Beavis. 'Beavis and Butt-head' sounds stupid. Beavis: No, no! I kinda like 'Beavis and Butt-head'! I don't know just sounds right.”— Greg Grabianski, Beavis, Mike Judge, imdb.comTagged: name changes, Stupid
“Nurse: Here's a prescription for some special shampoo and cream for skin irritation. Butt-head: [laughs] She said 'foreskin.' Beavis: Yeah. Foreskin irritation.”— Kristofor Brown, Beavis, Mike Judge, imdb.comTagged: For Skin, Foreskin, Double Entendres
“Butt-head: Welcome to the future. Here is your free porn. Beavis: Yeah. Porn is good for you. Did you know that?”— Kristofor Brown, Beavis, Mike Judge, imdb.comTagged: Future, Porn
“Bartender: Look, I told you kids! You have no I.D.'s, you look underage, and if I serve you, I'll go to jail! Butt-head: Uhh…how about one for the road?”— Etan Cohen, Butt-head, Mike Judge, imdb.comTagged: underage drinking, not taking "No" for an answer, One for the Road