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Beetlejuice
Thanks to an untimely demise via drowning, a young couple end up as poltergeists in their New England farmhouse, where they fail to meet the challenge of scaring away the insufferable new owners, who want to make drastic changes. In desperation, the undea
Lydia: Are you the guys hiding out in the attic? Adam: We're ghosts! Lydia: What do you look like under there? Adam: Aren't you scared? Lydia: I'm not scared of sheets. Are you gross under there? Are you Night of the Living Dead under there? Like all bloody veins and pus? Adam: Night of the what? Ly…
— Michael McDowell, Larry Wilson, Warren Skaaren, Lydia Deetz, Winona Ryder, imdb.com
Messenger: How do I look? There are no mirrors on this side. Adam: Fine, you look fine. Messenger: Yeah? Barbara: Fine. Messenger: Thanks, I've been feeling a little flat. [he laughs and goes through the crevice in the filing room]
— Michael McDowell, Larry Wilson, Warren Skaaren, Messenger, Carmen Filpi, imdb.com
Lydia: They don't wanna come down. Delia: Charles... Otho: Why not? Lydia: I think the reason is, is that they were trying to scare you away, and you didn't get scared. Delia: Please, they're dead. It's a little late to be neurotic.
— Michael McDowell, Larry Wilson, Warren Skaaren, Lydia Deetz, Winona Ryder, imdb.com
I'll eat anything you want me to eat. I'll swallow anything you want me to swallow. But, come on down and I'll...chew on a dog! Arroooo!
— Michael McDowell, Larry Wilson, Warren Skaaren, Betelgeuse, Michael Keaton, imdb.com
Adam: Cabin fever, hon? Barbara: Well, I can't clean anything properly. The vacuum's out in the garage and we can't leave the house. Why don't they tell us something? I mean, where are all the other dead people in the world? Why is it just you and me? Adam: Maybe this is heaven. Barbara: In heaven t…
— Michael McDowell, Larry Wilson, Warren Skaaren, Adam Maitland, Alec Baldwin, imdb.com
What's the good of being a ghost if you can't frighten people away?
— Michael McDowell, Larry Wilson, Warren Skaaren, Barbara Maitland, Geena Davis, imdb.com
I'm just doin' my job, besides, I thought we had a deal! Hey, it's OK. You know why? I don't wanna do business with you deadbeats anyway. The only one I think I can deal with is Edgar Allan Poe's daughter. I think she understands me.
— Michael McDowell, Larry Wilson, Warren Skaaren, Betelgeuse, Michael Keaton, imdb.com
Lydia: I was just trying to open the door. Mrs. Butterfield brought over a skeleton key. Charles: Let me have it. Lydia: But it doesn't work. [She hands her father the key. He looks at it and throws it in the corner] Charles: Skeleton keys never work. Anyway, this can wait. We'll get a crowbar later…
— Michael McDowell, Larry Wilson, Warren Skaaren, Charles Deetz, Jeffrey Jones, imdb.com
If you tell me what you do, I'll tell you why my husband will fire you.
— Michael McDowell, Larry Wilson, Warren Skaaren, Delia Deetz, Catherine O'Hara, imdb.com
Juno: [as Adam and Barbara come back to the afterlife] You two have really screwed up! I received word that you allowed yourselves to be photographed, and you let Betelgeuse out and didn't put him back, and you let Otho get hold of the handbook! Adam: Handbook? When? Juno: [rolls her eyes] Never tru…
— Michael McDowell, Larry Wilson, Warren Skaaren, Juno, Sylvia Sidney, imdb.com
Char Man: Want a cigarette? Adam: No, thank you. Char Man: I'm trying to cut down myself.
— Michael McDowell, Larry Wilson, Warren Skaaren, Adam Maitland, Alec Baldwin, imdb.com
Otho: I have a feeling there's something very interesting behind that door. Delia: [sarcastically] Yeah. Ghosts. The people who died in this house and they want us OUT of here. Well, let's do them a favor...
— Michael McDowell, Larry Wilson, Warren Skaaren, Otho, Glenn Shadix, imdb.com
Adam: It's the first day of our vacation, and you haven't been out of the kitchen since five a.m. Barbara: [proudly] I always make the flag cake. Adam: Fifty stars, thirteen stripes. Did you get it right this year?
— Michael McDowell, Larry Wilson, Warren Skaaren, Adam Maitland, Alec Baldwin, imdb.com
Beetlejuice: You know, you look like somebody I can relate to. Maybe you could help me get out of here, you know, because I got to tell you, this dead thing... it's just too creepy. See, here's my problem. I got these friends I said I'd meet, and it's the kind of thing where I have to be there in pe…
— Michael McDowell, Larry Wilson, Warren Skaaren, Betelgeuse, Michael Keaton, imdb.com
[a fly appears in the Maitland home, it flies onto the model of the town, then lands near the graveyard area] Beetlejuice: [pops out of a crack] Hey! Hey, you! Hey, come here! [fly stops, looks Betelgeuse's direction while the hands hold up a Zagnut candy bar] Beetlejuice: Got something good for ya.…
— Michael McDowell, Larry Wilson, Warren Skaaren, Betelgeuse, Michael Keaton, imdb.com
Adam: You've read our book? Lydia: Yeah. Adam: You can follow it? Lydia: Yeah. Why were you guys creeping around in Delia's bedroom? Adam: We were trying to scare your mother. Lydia: Stepmother. Anyway, you can't scare her. She's sleeping with Prince Valium tonight.
— Michael McDowell, Larry Wilson, Warren Skaaren, Adam Maitland, Alec Baldwin, imdb.com
These aren't my rules. Come to think of it, I don't have any rules.
— Michael McDowell, Larry Wilson, Warren Skaaren, Betelgeuse, Michael Keaton, imdb.com
Dumb Football Player: Coach. Coach, where's the men's room? Juno: I'm not your coach! He survived! Dumb Football Player #2: Wait, coach, let me get something straight. What's our curfew around here? Juno: Will you get out of here! Go on, get downstairs! 'Men's room!' Are you kidding? Can't you read…
— Michael McDowell, Larry Wilson, Warren Skaaren, Juno, Sylvia Sidney, imdb.com
Charles: As soon as we get settled, we'll build you a dark room in the basement, okay? Lydia: My whole life is a dark room. One big dark room. Delia: So you were miserable in New York City, and now you're going to be miserable out here in the sticks. At least someone's life hasn't been upheaved.
— Michael McDowell, Larry Wilson, Warren Skaaren, Charles Deetz, Jeffrey Jones, imdb.com