Show

Eastbound & Down

Years after he turned his back on his hometown, a burned-out major league ballplayer returns to teach phys ed at his old middle school.

(37 total)

Seasons

Season 1 (2)Season 2 (35)Season 3 Season 4

Characters

Danny McBride (39)Kenny Powers (37)David Gordon Green (35)Jody Hill (2)Ben Best (2)

“Let's face it, guys, after midnight, this whole fucking place turns into a pumpkin, and you guys all turn back into mice. This is a classic Cinderella tale here. You know, Peter Pan will no longer be a man, he'll turn into a real boy. George Washington will never be able to cut down the beanstalk. Y…”

— David Gordon Green, Kenny Powers, Danny McBride, imdb.com

Tagged: Cinderella Tale, pumpkin, George Washington, Peter Pan, Beanstalk

“Purity—it's what we all desire, and it is what I've come here to share with you. Hence the all whites.”

— David Gordon Green, Kenny Powers, Danny McBride, imdb.com

Tagged: Purity, whites

“Whenever I look at a Mexican I will think of you. Whenever you look at that jackass you think of me, OK?”

— David Gordon Green, Kenny Powers, Danny McBride, imdb.com

Tagged: Mexican, Jackass

“I brought you guys up from less than fuckin' nothin', and took you up to a championship level, only to abandon you there...leave you high and dry, naked and nude, prey, easy targets for the competitions, to rape and buttfuck you. I'm sorry for that.”

— David Gordon Green, Kenny Powers, Danny McBride, imdb.com

Tagged: Rape, buttfuck, Championship, dry, nude

“That sweet tailpipe of yours did have me charmed. It put a spell on me, but all the ass magic in Mexico can't change Kenny Powers from his core beliefs. I'm not an ass man. I'm a tit man. I like big ass boobs—now, and forever. I'm not like a black guy, Vida.”

— David Gordon Green, Kenny Powers, Danny McBride, imdb.com

Tagged: tailpipe, ass, Mexico, boobs, black guys

“Reminds me of why I'm here in the first place. A quest is nothin' if you got no one to brag about it too, will never reach the end if you're only doing it for yourself. Me, I'm doing it for a girl I had to leave behind, just to get this far. Now I gotta go a little further to get back to her. All I…”

— David Gordon Green, Kenny Powers, Danny McBride, imdb.com

Tagged: Quest, Reconciliation, bragging

“Too hot for hugs here, man. I've been battlin' a war with swamp ass since I got down here.”

— David Gordon Green, Kenny Powers, Danny McBride, imdb.com

Tagged: hugs, swamp ass

“A goddamn Mexican standoff in fuckin' Mexico. I was hoping to get into one of these before I left.”

— David Gordon Green, Kenny Powers, Danny McBride, imdb.com

Tagged: Mexican, Mexican Standoff

“Oddly enough, the people here aren't that different from the ones back home, when you get past the lack of interest in real sports, and the need to have yellow rice at every fuckin' meal.”

— David Gordon Green, Kenny Powers, Danny McBride, imdb.com

Tagged: Mexico, Sports, Yellow Rice

“Chapter One, continued. More of what I was just saying...Never in a million years would I imagine myself being in Mexico. After all, who would? Most Mexicans spend the bulk of their day just trying to get out, so you can hardly blame foreigners like myself for not thinkin' about gettin' in.”

— David Gordon Green, Kenny Powers, Danny McBride, imdb.com

Tagged: Mexico, Mexicans, Foreigners

“But to capture the heart of one of your teachers, and take her away from you forever. So at this time I would like the beautiful, the forgiving, the talented, big-chested art teacher, to please step forward.”

— David Gordon Green, Kenny Powers, Danny McBride, imdb.com

Tagged: heart, Forgiving, talented, art teacher

“Can't help but notice how much they stick together, too. I mean, when you see Mexicans in the States you think, 'oh, there's a group of Mexicans, doin' Mexican things together', but here you see that it's not just because they talk the same language, and are all Catholic. Family means a lot to these…”

— David Gordon Green, Kenny Powers, Danny McBride, imdb.com

Tagged: Mexico, Mexicans, Catholic

“I learned a lot down in Mexico. I learned that sometimes to be the man, you gotta beat the man. I learned the grass is not always greener. I learned that adversity's sweet milk. That's philosophy, April.”

— David Gordon Green, Kenny Powers, Danny McBride, imdb.com

Tagged: Mexico, Grass is Green, Adversity, Philosophy

“Well, I wouldn't want to ruin a sale, huh? Guess you guys got to make those commissions to be able to buy all the goddamn...the FUBU, and the Oshkosh B'gosh, and the shit the baby's gonna be wearing. Hey, potential home buyers. Hope ya'll know there were a lotta rapes that happened in this house.”

— David Gordon Green, Kenny Powers, Danny McBride, imdb.com

Tagged: FUBU, Oshkosh B'Gosh, Rape

“Do I have all the attentions of everyone? Attentions please. For those of y'all who do not know who I am, my name is Kenny Powers. And as fucked-up and weird as it may seem, I used to be a teacher here. But now I return to you. A victor, a champion, a man who has defeated the face of Mexican basebal…”

— David Gordon Green, Kenny Powers, Danny McBride, imdb.com

Tagged: fucked-up, Weird, Victor, champion, Mexican Baseball

“See, in life, when you have talent all the other s**t doesn't matter. If we were on an island with no weights and no running drills, who would be on top then? The guy with the talent.”

— Jody Hill, Ben Best, Danny McBride, Kenny Powers, Danny McBride, imdb.com

Tagged: Talent

“I play real sports. Not trying to be the best at exercising.”

— Danny McBride, Jody Hill, Ben Best, Kenny Powers, Danny McBride, imdb.com

Tagged: Real Sports