Season 1

“Grace: You are in need of some serious cheering up. Frankie: I'm not without cheer. I'm a little down. It's an honest down, and since you are so up, there's a homeostatic balance.”

— Jacquelyn Reingold, Marta Kauffman, Howard J. Morris, Frankie Bergstein, Lily Tomlin, imdb.com

“You know, at my age I only have one speed: breakneck. Of course I don't call it that. Because it is a very real fear.”

— Nancy Fichman, Jennifer Hoppe, Grace Hanson, Jane Fonda, imdb.com

“Grace: Fold the corners. No, fold. Fold the corners. Frankie: They're round. They do not fold. Anyone who can do this is a powerful witch. Grace: Well, I can do it. Frankie: I rest my case.”

— Marta Kauffman, Billy Finnegan, Frankie Bergstein, Lily Tomlin, imdb.com

“Grace: Sol's probably going to ask you to do an interpretive dance. Frankie: I don't think I can. I mean, I could. I mean, I usually see where my body takes me in the moment.”

— Marta Kauffman, Billy Finnegan, Frankie Bergstein, Lily Tomlin, imdb.com

“I struggle to believe you.”

— Billy Finnegan, Howard J. Morris, Marta Kauffman, Frankie Bergstein, Lily Tomlin, imdb.com

“Frankie: Is that why you're wearing that ass hugging dress? Grace: Exactly. Yes. When I walk into Larry's house, everybody's going to look at me and say, 'What a waste?' Frankie: Wouldn't they be saying that when you walk out?”

— Marta Kauffman, Alexa Junge, Frankie Bergstein, Lily Tomlin, imdb.com

“I lost both my virginities in this house, it's my house.”

— Marta Kauffman, Howard J. Morris, Brianna Hanson, June Diane Raphael, imdb.com

“You can't see me, you can't stop me.”

— Marta Kauffman, June Diane Raphael, Frankie Bergstein, Lily Tomlin, imdb.com

“Sweet, muscular Jesus!”

— Marta Kauffman, Frankie Bergstein, Lily Tomlin, imdb.com

“When you left, I thought my life was over. I can't sleep in that big fucking bed without him. But I did it. And now I love having that bed to myself, it's fantastic, I sleep in a giant X! You know what this means? Im okay, and I'm going to be okay. Ta-da, congratulate me.”

— Alexa Junge, Frankie Bergstein, Lily Tomlin, imdb.com

“Frankie Bergstein: What brand would you smoke if your husband turned out to be gay? Clerk: Uh, Newports? Frankie Bergstein: For 20 years? Clerk: Lucky's.”

— Marta Kauffman, Frankie Bergstein, Lily Tomlin, imdb.com

“I gained another pound today. But I think it's a pound of knowledge.”

— Marta Kauffman, Howard J. Morris, Frankie Bergstein, Lily Tomlin, imdb.com

“This is not the energy I wanted to start my vision quest with.”

— Marta Kauffman, Howard J. Morris, Frankie Bergstein, Lily Tomlin, imdb.com

“Have you ever wondered if Ben and Jerry make more than ice cream together?”

— Marta Kauffman, Howard J. Morris, Frankie Bergstein, Lily Tomlin, imdb.com

“I gained another pound today. But I think it's a pound of knowledge.”

— Marta Kauffman, Howard J. Morris, Frankie Bergstein, Lily Tomlin, imdb.com

“And I am a certified amateur psychologist.”

— Marta Kauffman, Howard J. Morris, Frankie Bergstein, Lily Tomlin, imdb.com

“If you're going into the kitchen could you get me two whiskey sours? One for each hand.”

— Marta Kauffman, Howard J. Morris, Frankie Bergstein, Lily Tomlin, imdb.com

“You should probably brace yourself for some light vomiting followed by life altering hallucinations.”

— Marta Kauffman, Frankie Bergstein, Lily Tomlin, imdb.com