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National Lampoon's Vacation

by John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, Imogene Coca and 45 others(20 total)

Clark Griswold is on a quest to take his family on a quest to Walley World theme park for a vacation, but things don't go exactly as planned.

Characters

John Hughes (20)Clark Griswold (14)Chevy Chase (14)Beverly D'Angelo (4)Ellen Griswold (4)Cousin Vicki (1)Randy Quaid (1)Jane Krakowski (1)Cousin Eddie (1)

Cousin Vicki: I'm going steady, and I French kiss. Audrey Griswold: So? Everybody does that. Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.

— John Hughes, Cousin Vicki, Jane Krakowski, imdb.com

Going Steady French Kissing Incest

I got laid off when they closed that asbestos factory, and wouldn't you know it, the army cuts my disability pension because they said that the plate in my head wasn't big enough.

— John Hughes, Cousin Eddie, Randy Quaid, imdb.com

Disability laid off plate in the head

Audrey Griswold: Mom, where can I go to the bathroom? Ellen Griswold: Find a bush Audrey! : Mom, where can I go to the bathroom? Ellen Griswold: Find a bush, Audrey!

— John Hughes, Ellen Griswold, Beverly D'Angelo, imdb.com

Public Urination bathrooms

Ellen Griswold: Lord, we loved this woman with all our heart. Audrey Griswold: Let's not overdo it, mom. Ellen Griswold: Shut up.

— John Hughes, Ellen Griswold, Beverly D'Angelo, imdb.com

Love Eulogies overdoing it Sarcasm

Clark: Real tomato ketchup, Eddie? Cousin Eddie: Oh, nothing but the best.

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Ketchup only the best

Ellen Griswold: I honestly don't think you're going to find the Grand Canyon on this road. Clark: Jesus, it's only the biggest damn hole in the world. Aunt Edna: Clark, watch your language! Clark: Make that the second biggest.

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Grand Canyon jesus Watch Your Language

Ellen Griswold: We're not really violent people. This is our first gun. Clark Griswold: No, it isn't.

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Guns gun collectors

Rusty Griswold: Is that a real gun, Mom? Ellen Griswold: I don't know, Rusty, but when this is all over, your father...may be going away for a little while.

— John Hughes, Ellen Griswold, Beverly D'Angelo, imdb.com

Guns trouble

Clark: We're from out of town. Man Giving Directions: No shit.

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Out of town no shit Painfully Obvious

I'm making this out for one thousand dollars. All you have to do is give me 300 dollars in cash and keep 700 dollars, all for doing nothing more than acting like a total creep.

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

checks Cash Creep

[after driving off the road] Ellen Griswold: I think I broke my nose. Rusty Griswold: I stabbed my brain. Audrey Griswold: I just got my period.

— John Hughes, Ellen Griswold, Beverly D'Angelo, imdb.com

Car Crash broken nose period

Lasky: Has your father ever killed anyone? Rusty: Just a dog. Oh, and my Aunt Edna. Clark: Hey you can't prove that, Russ.

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Murder reasonable doubt

I don't give a frog's fat ass who went through what. We need money! Hey, Russ, wanna look through Aunt Edna's purse?

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Theft frog's fat ass

[In Cousin Normy's backyard in the pouring rain] Ellen Griswold: We can't leave her on the patio! Clark: Would you rather I slipped her in the night deposit box at the funeral home?

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

patio pouring rain Morbid Humor

Hey, hey, easy kids. Everybody in the car. Boat leaves in two minutes...or perhaps you don't want to see the second largest ball of twine on the face of the earth, which is only four short hours away?

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

vacation ball of twine

Why aren't we flying? Because getting there is half the fun. You know that.

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Flying Driving

Ellen Griswold: Clark, let's just skip the House of Mud. I think Dodge City was enough fun for one day. Besides, Catherine and Eddie are expecting us. Clark: It's living history, Ellen. But if you'd rather see your cousins. Personally I'd rather see a pile of mud than Eddie.

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Dodge City House of Mud

Cousin Eddie: I don't know why they call this stuff Hamburger Helper. It does just fine by itself, huh? I like it better than Tuna Helper myself, don't you, Clark? Clark: You're the gourmet around here, Eddie.

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

tuna helper hamburger helper gourmet Sarcasm

Clark: I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. You're gonna have fun, and I'm gonna have fun... We're all gonna have so much fucking fun…

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

Assholes holy shit forced fun vacation

Clark: Excuse me, could you please tell me how to get back on the expressway? Pimp: Fuck yo mama! Clark: Thank you very much.

— John Hughes, Clark Griswold, Chevy Chase, imdb.com

asking directions freeway fuck yo mama

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