Episode

The Cafe

by Tom Leopold, Jerry Seinfeld, Tom Cherones, Brian George, Larry David and 8 others

Jerry tries helping the owner of a small restaurant attract customers by giving him a suggestion. George must take an IQ test for his latest girlfriend, so Elaine helps him in "a caper" where she takes the test for him. Kramer tries to keep his mother's e

(11 total)

Characters

Tom Leopold (11)Jerry Seinfeld (10)Jason Alexander (4)George Costanza (4)Brian George (2)Babu Bhatt (2)

“Why is nice bad? What kind of a sick society are we living in when nice is bad?”

— Tom Leopold, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Nice, Bad, Sick Society

“You bad man! You very, very bad man.”

— Tom Leopold, Babu Bhatt, Brian George, imdb.com

Tagged: Bad Men, Evil

“Quiet! You shut up! You make me change restaurant, but nobody comes! You say make Pakistani, Babu Bhatt have only Pakistani restaurant. But where are people? You see people? Show me people. There are no people.”

— Tom Leopold, Babu Bhatt, Brian George, imdb.com

Tagged: Betrayal, fury, Anger, Failure

“I am such a great guy. Who else would've gone through the trouble of helping this poor immigrant? I am special. My mother was right. Of course, I've never had Pakistani food. How bad it could be?”

— Tom Leopold, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Self-Aggrandizement, Immigrants

“Very good? No, not very good, very great. I am very, very great.”

— Tom Leopold, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Self-Aggrandizement

“You should've seen her face. It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriloquist.”

— Tom Leopold, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Disappointment, Secrets, Parents, Ventriloquism

“You know, people think I'm smart, but I'm not smart.”

— Tom Leopold, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: Intelligence, Self-deprecation

“Very kind. I am a kind man. Who else would do something like this? Nobody. Nobody thinks about people like I do. All right, snap out of it, you stupid jerk. You're eating a turkey sandwich. What do want, a Nobel Prize?”

— Tom Leopold, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: kindness, Nobel Prize, Self-Aggrandizement

“She thinks I'm a nice guy. Women always think I'm nice, but women don't like nice….Why is nice bad? What kind of sick society we are living in, when nice is bad?”

— Tom Leopold, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Tagged: nice guys, Men, Women, Dating, Attraction

“It's like a spider in the toilet struggling for a survival. And even if you know it's not going to make it, you kind of root it for a while.”

— Tom Leopold, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Spiders, Survival, Doom

“There's always that one location, one store location that's constantly changing hands. Everybody has this in their neighborhood, it's a leather store, it's a yogurt shop, it's a pet supply. It's constantly changing and nobody can do business there. It's like some sort of Bermuda Triangle of retail,…”

— Tom Leopold, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Tagged: Restaurants, Location, Aliens, Bermuda Triangle, Business