Steven Wright

The dreams of my life were to go on The Tonight Show and to have a small part in a movie. When I was 28, I had been on The Tonight Show a bunch of times, and Risa Bramon, who was casting Desperately Seeking Susan—I didn't know her, but she liked my stand-up—brought me to the attention of the directo…

— Steven Wright, avclub.com

the tonight show Johnny Carson Desperately Seeking Susan Risa Bramon Standup Comedy

I'm a conservative kind of guy, so I do have these rules—I won't talk about this, this, and this. And I don't like talking about topical things. I like talking about little things, like lint.

— Steven Wright, avclub.com

Conservative Rules Topical Lint

You're on a jet, you're five miles in the air, you're going 500 miles an hour, and you ask someone to bring you another Coke. That is as weird to me as any joke I said last night. I think that's why people identify with me, because there are a billion pieces of information, and there's so much chaos…

— Steven Wright, avclub.com

Standup Comedy Chaos civilization Coke Shit

I tell people I'm just a secretary for my own mind: Something comes into my head, and I write it down.

— Steven Wright, avclub.com

Writing Secretary

Very rarely do I talk off the top of my head on stage. I'm not an improv guy. I'm a writer-guy who presents what he's written. I don't even really write the jokes, they just come into my head, and a joke can't come into my head on stage, because I'm too busy.

— Steven Wright, avclub.com

Standup Comedy Improv Jokes writer

Over the years, I've learned that the best way to react [to hecklers] is to ignore them. I don't need to be in a two-man band with a stranger when I'm doing what I do.

— Steven Wright, avclub.com

Hecklers Standup Comedy

It was like getting in a cab by accident with Jesus.

— Steven Wright, avclub.com

Cab accident jesus

My dream was so strong that I made myself do what horrified me. I was a nervous wreck.

— Steven Wright, avclub.com

Dreams Nervous Wreck

About five years ago, somebody showed me some web sites that had my material all over them, and I thought that was fascinating. One reason was, I'd never seen my jokes written one right after another like that. I write on drawing paper—I don't even like lines on the paper—so I have notebooks all ove…

— Steven Wright, avclub.com

Plagiarism Wrongly Attributed Writing Notebooks

When I die, I'm going to leave my body to science fiction.

— Steven Wright, avclub.com

Living Will Science Fiction

I'm staying in an old hotel. They sent me a wake-up letter.

— Steven Wright, avclub.com

Luddite Old Fashioned Wake Up Call

I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That's still what I am doing. The end.

— Steven Wright, avclub.com

Strandup Comedy Standup Comics The End

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