“I'm a very high-strung little lapdog. Ruff ruff ruff, rarr, ruff!”— Matt Witten, Dr. Gregory House, Hugh Laurie, imdb.com
“Dr. Eric Foreman: 10-year-olds do not have heart attacks. It's got to be a mistake. Dr. Gregory House: Right. The simplest explanation is she's a 40-year-old lying about her age. Maybe an actress trying to hang on”— Thomas L. Moran, Dr. Gregory House, Hugh Laurie, imdb.com
“Dr. James Wilson: That smugness of yours really is an attractive quality. Dr. Gregory House: Thank you. It was either that or get my hair highlighted. Smugness is easier to maintain.”— David Shore, Dr. Gregory House, Hugh Laurie, imdb.com
“Dr. Allison Cameron: Men should grow up. Dr. Gregory House: Yeah, and dogs should stop licking themselves. It's not gonna happen.”— David Shore, Dr. Gregory House, Hugh Laurie, imdb.com
“Dr. Eric Foreman: He probably just moved. Nobody stays perfectly still for their entire MRI. Dr. Gregory House: Yeah, probably got restless and shifted one hemisphere of his brain to a more comfortable position.”— Lawrence Kaplow, Dr. Gregory House, Hugh Laurie, imdb.com
“Oxygen is so important during those prepubescent years, don't you think?”— David Shore, Dr. Gregory House, Hugh Laurie, imdb.com
“Women fake orgasms, maybe all of em. Although I haven't checked my clipboard lately”— Michelle Ashford, Betty DiMello, Annaleigh Ashford, imdb.com
“I can't believe you're still a member of a club that won't allow women. Have a lovely time. Apparently the food's shit!”— David Farr, Angela Burr, Olivia Colman, imdb.com
“Gus: What are we looking for anyway? Shawn: Anything that points to criminal activity. You know... a white cloth sack with a green dollar sign. A red barrel labeled 'TNT.' An anvil. Anything.”— Saladin K. Patterson, Shawn Spencer, James Roday, imdb.com
“Elliot: You know I kinda had a date last night? J.D.: Really? Elliot: Yeah, a guy on the bus fell asleep on me and drooled on my shoulder. J.D.: ...You slut.”— Mike Schwartz, John 'J.D.' Dorian, Zach Braff, imdb.com
“"Anxiety? Well, what could be giving you anxiety, sweetie?" "Um, let's see..."”— Peter Gaffney, Peter Elwell, Daria Morgendorffer, Tracy Grandstaff, imdb.com
“"Anxiety? Well, what could be giving you anxiety, sweetie?" "Um, let's see. Every aspect of my life?"”— Peter Gaffney, Peter Elwell, Daria Morgendorffer, Tracy Grandstaff, imdb.com
“You ever hear girls say that? "I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual." I like to reply with "I'm not honest, but you're interesting!"”— Daniel Tosh, amazon.com
“I thought we might run up a few curtains and make a batch of fudge while we were planning on what to wear to the country club dance Saturday night.”— Jean Harlow, imdb.com
“I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.”— Arthur C. Clarke, clarkefoundation.org