Latest Quotes

“Betty White is fine, and we should all be careful not to accidentally spread unnecessary panic online.”

— Stephen LaConte, Betty White Is Fine

“Nearly 50 employees of Life Care Center of Kirkland, the Seattle-area nursing home that has been an epicenter of the coronavirus outbreak in the U.S., have tested positive for the virus, according to a report.”

— Dom Calicchio, Washington state nursing home sees nearly 50 employees test positive for coronavirus

“How long can the new coronavirus live on a surface, like say, a door handle, after someone infected touches it with dirty fingers? A study out this week finds that the virus can survive on hard surfaces such as plastic and stainless steel for up to 72 hours and on cardboard for up to 24 hours.”

— Allison Aubrey, The New Coronavirus Can Live On Surfaces For 2-3 Days — Here's How To Clean Them

“The House today passed, on a bipartisan 363-40 vote, the Families First Coronavirus Response Act to bolster the federal government’s response to the coronavirus outbreak and address the severe impacts of the coronavirus on Americans’ personal safety and financial security.”

— House Committee on Appropriations, House Passes Families First Coronavirus Response Act

“In a week when the coronavirus closures and quarantines hit like falling dominoes – the lockdown in Italy, the empty workplaces and college campuses in the U.S., suspended sports seasons, canceled festivals – far less attention fell on the global scientific community's drive to find treatments for t…”

— Mark Johnson, The race to find a coronavirus treatment

“Harry Styles performs at Tiny Desk.”

— NPR, Harry Styles

“While I wholeheartedly believe in the healing power of jokes even in dire times (especially in dire times), humor and satire only go so far without understanding and empathy.”

— Cathy Yang , Humor In The Time Of Coronavirus

“There is no audience and also we're not even in our usual studio.”

— John Oliver, Coronavirus II

“A coronavirus patient in Kentucky has been placed under 24/7 armed guard after refusing to self-isolate.”

— The Sun UK, Coronavirus patient under 24/7 armed guard after refusing to self-isolate

“New York City schools will be closed for at least the next four-plus weeks due to the coronavirus outbreak, Mayor Bill de Blasio announced Sunday evening.”

— CBS New York, Coronavirus Update

“Like, the water shelves at many stores are completely empty...except for Dasani.”

— Ajani Bazile, BuzzFeed Staff, People Are Panic Buying Food And Water Due To Coronavirus But Still Not Buying Dasani Water

“We must move to pandemic mitigation through widespread, uncomfortable, and comprehensive social distancing.”

— Ariadne Labs, Medium, Social Distancing

“Chinese Doctor talking about Coronavirus???”

— Chinese Doctor talking about Coronavirus, Chinese Doctor talking about Coronavirus???

“I love magic.”

— Steve Kloves, Harry Potter, Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“It's the worse use of scissors since my failed vasectomy.”

— Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche, David Quantick, Mike McLintock, Matt Walsh, Debate

“Coronavirus Memes”

— Thought Catalog, 50 Best Coronavirus Memes To Laugh At While Civilization Disintegrates Around Us

“Get the government out of my fucking snatch.”

— Armando Iannucci, Ian Martin, Roger Drew, Selina Meyer, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The Choice

“When we separate students by their assumed genitalia for sex education, we are reinforcing the idea that genitals are equal to gender, and that there is no difference between sex and gender.”

— Syd Stephenson, Teen Vogue, 12 Transgender People on What They Wish They Had Learned in Sex Ed

“In the face of theaters going dark due to coronavirus, the Broadway legend just released a never-before-heard demo track from Hamilton that didn't make the show's final cut — for free.”

— Entrepreneur Staff, In Response to Broadway Suspending Shows, Lin-Manuel Miranda Releases Unheard 'Hamilton' Track

“Dan, you're going to have to clean up your own shitty diaper.”

— Tony Roche, Armando Iannucci, Selina Meyer, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, D.C.