Quote
Catalog

Latest Quotes

(108,898 total)

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and God? A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

— Anonymous, Lawyer Joke Collection

Lawyer Jokes God

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? A: After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.

— Anonymous, Lawyer Joke Collection

Lawyer Jokes Leech

Q: Why did God invent lawyers? A: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

— Anonymous, Lawyer Joke Collection

Lawyer Jokes God Real estate Agents

Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pit bull? A: Lipstick.

— Anonymous, Lawyer Joke Collection

Lawyer Jokes Pit Bull lipstick

Q: What’s black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A: A doberman pinscher.

— Anonymous, 20 Lawyer Jokes You Should Never Tell

Lawyer Jokes doberman Pinscher

Q: Why does the bar association code of ethics prevent sex between lawyers and their clients? A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

— Anonymous, 20 Lawyer Jokes You Should Never Tell

Lawyer Jokes Double Entendres

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a jellyfish? A: One is a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

— Anonymous, 20 Lawyer Jokes You Should Never Tell

Lawyer Jokes Jellyfish spineless

Q: What’s the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer riding a motorcycle? A: The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.

— Anonymous, 20 Lawyer Jokes You Should Never Tell

Lawyer Jokes

Q: How many lawyer jokes are in existence? A: Only three. All the rest are true stories.

— Anonymous, World's best

Lawyer Jokes

Q: What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra? A: Taller.

— Anonymous, World's best (and worst) lawyer jokes

Lawyer Jokes Viagra

Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? A: A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.

— Anonymous, World's best (and worst) lawyer jokes

Lawyer Jokes

Let's hope their dreams are nice ones.

— MICHELLE STARR, Sophisticated New AI Performs Better When It Can Sleep And Dream

I think Jordan Peterson has probably done the best job of describing the dangers of identity politics. Call it out for what it is and then provide an alternative. The alternative is that we're a united people, and we're all individuals, and what matters is the content of our character.

— Dan Crenshaw, The Daily Wire’s Long-Form Interview With Republican Rep. Dan Crenshaw

Jordan Peterson Identity Politics

The conversation has to be about the rule of law, respecting our sovereignty, the hundreds of thousands of people crossing illegally, dragging kids across because our laws incentivize that, and the humanitarian crisis that creates.

— Dan Crenshaw, The Daily Wire’s Long-Form Interview With Republican Rep. Dan Crenshaw

Rule of Law Sovereignty Humanitarian Crisis Immigration

‘Medicare for all’ sounds simple, but it's not. It creates an enormous bureaucracy and really dire consequences that people don't understand.

— Dan Crenshaw, The Daily Wire’s Long-Form Interview With Republican Rep. Dan Crenshaw

Medicare Medicare for All Bureaucracy

‪Its important to remind yourself that this is not a race. Do what you can do today. You will get to where you are going. Progress happens in layers. ‬

— Audrey Kitching, Progress

Inspirational Race Progress

Yeah, we shouldn't deny that there's been a little bit of a populism-creep into the party. I still think the populism is far worse on the Left. I think it's far more pervasive – the Medicare for all, gonna give everything away for free type of message is really inherently impossible. That being said…

— Dan Crenshaw, The Daily Wire’s Long-Form Interview With Republican Rep. Dan Crenshaw

Populism Medicare Rhetoric

I think what they'll find is that voters are more willing to forgive you and listen to you if you're just honest with them in your conviction and understand why you believe what you believe, and you understand it so well that you can help them understand it.

— Dan Crenshaw, The Daily Wire’s Long-Form Interview With Republican Rep. Dan Crenshaw

Voters Honesty

I want the party to be perceived as a party that simultaneously appreciates traditional principles and founding principles – like limited government, individual freedom, and personal responsibility, federalism, appreciation for our Constitution, and the prosperity it has given us – while also being…

— Dan Crenshaw, The Daily Wire’s Long-Form Interview With Republican Rep. Dan Crenshaw

Republican Party GOP Freedom Personal Responsibility Federalism

There are many ideas that we will never agree on. The left and the right have different ways of approaching governance, based on contrasting philosophies. But many of the ultimate goals — economic prosperity, better healthcare and education, etc. — are the same. We just don’t share the same vision o…

— Dan Crenshaw, Dan Crenshaw Isn't Buying Into 'Outrage Culture,' Urges Nation To Rediscover Civility

Democrats Republicans governance Goals Economic Prosperity

M M WK &KK K& & WM MMWW& K & MWWW &WMWWKWW K & M MMWWWWW KWWMWWWWWWK &K KK&KKKK&M K WWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWW&KK KMMMM&K KM& KWWWWWWWWWWWW&&& KWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWWWW&KMMMM&K K&K K&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&WWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWMMMMWMMW&&&&&K &&K & WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&&MMMM&&&K&&KK&K K&M&&WWWWWW&KMMWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&&K&&K&&KKKKKKKK&& K&&KMMMMWM&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&K&&K&KKK KKK&K K&KMMMW&WWWWWWW&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&&M&&KK KKK KK &&&&MMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&MKK &&&KK KKK K&M&MMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM& KK KM& KK&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWMK KK&KK&MM&M&K KMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&K KMMMWWM&KK &KKMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&&&M& KMWWWWWWWWWWWWWMKK KM &&&&M&MM&&MMMWMWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMK&MKKKKKK &&MWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&K K KKKK K K KMWMMWWWWWWWWWW&KK&K&& K&MWWWWM& K K&KMM&MWWWWWWWWWM&&K K&&KK &K&MMMWWWWMK KWWWWWWWM& MW KKKK K&WWW& &MMWWMM&K & WWW KWM K&& KKKKK K WWK K&&&M&K KK KK KWW K K K KMWMKKKKKK K KW WWWWK KKK&KKK &&K &KMMKK&K &KMMWW&K&M&KKK &M M& K&KKK&K K&KKKK&&MWWWWWWMM& K& KKK&WMWWWM&&&&K K K &KKK&MMMWM&K&&K K&KK&&&K K KKKK&&&M&&&&MM&KK&&M&MMWWWM&&&&K &KK KWWWWWWWWW&K KKK& K&K K&&&WMMMWWWWWWWWMMMMMM&MWMWMM&&&&K KMM&K&KK KK&&&&&&KK KK&K&&K K&KK&&MMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWWMWWMM&&KK K K&MMMM&&K&&MMMMMMMMM&&KKK KKKKKKK K&MMMMWMWWMWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMM&&& K K&MMM&&MMMMMWWWWWWWWMM&&KK KK&&KKK KMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&M&KK K MWMW& KKMMMMMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&&& K&&&KKKK &WMMWWWWWWMWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMM&&K WWWWW K&MMMWWMWWMWMWWWWWWWWWM&MK KK&&MM&KK &MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&K && WWWWWWWMWW K&MMWWMMMMWWWWWWWWMWWWMMMK K&&MMWMMM&K &MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMM&K MW MWWWWWWWMWW &&MWWMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMK K&WWWWWWWM&&K KWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWWWWWM&&K WW&K WWWWWWWMMWW &&WWMMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMW&K &MWWWWWWWWWWMK MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWM&&K MW WWWWWWWWWW&W& KMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWMM &WWWWWWWWWM&KKK MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMMM&KK W&MWWWWWWWWWWWW

,.. . , : ,..: ,,, . . ::,. ,: , , :: , ,, , ., .. ., .,, .. . . , . . . , ., , . : : , : : :, ... . , :. . . , . .,.,: :, , . .. , : , . , .. :.. , . .:. : : :, , , . ..,:, : .: . : . : . . :: ,.. ,.. . : , ,, . , , ., ,,,:: ,, ,,. .. ,: . : , :,.. , . ,:: ,.., : ., :. : :. :...,,::., , ,: . .: :: , .... . . ..:. .:: . :, : . .,:. , , . ,: : . , ..: , .. ,:, , ,.,., :: :, .., : .. ::.: ,: : ,: :. , : ... .. , ,..,.. ..:, ,::: ,:: .. ,,. , :, . .::.:,,.,, .. .... ,:::: .,:: : .,, . :. , :. ,. , ,, . ,. ,::::: ..,: : ,, ,: :, , .:. . :, ::.:.. . , ,::::::: .,,: ,,: . : , : : .: .,,, ., . . ,::::::: .,:: :. . , . .,. , , ,. : . .,::::: ..,: . . : . ,,: :,, ., .. ,, . : :: .,,: ,. : . : :: .,,, ,:: ..,: . , . : . ,. ., , . : ..,:: : ..., :. , :. . , :.. .. , : .,:: ,,. . .. :: .., :. ,. :: ..,: : :. : . , :, . ,. . .,,.: ..,: .:, .: .. :,. . . ., : .,:: . : :,,, . . . : ., .,:: , ,: ,. , .., ., ::: .,:: . . .:: ..,: , ,. . ,, .,: ..,,: , ...: . ,. ., , ,: .,,: . , , ,: . ,:: . .,,: , . ,:,: .. ..,,: . , . ,.. .,.,,:: . ..,,: : .,..,:: . . . ...,,,: :,, . ...,,: . ........,,::: : . ... ...,,::

********}}}}}}}}}}}}}} < ~ } <<* } *} * } }}< * ~~ }<}*~< * << <<**}} ********}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}< < }}} * } < ~~* *~ * << ~ } ~<~ <<***}} <******}}}}}}}}}} }} ~ ~** }} < }<< * * } * *} ~<* * } ~~ ~< < ~<<***}} <******}}}}}}}}} }}}} < ~ } * ~ < * }* *<~ } } }* <<<***}} <*****}*}}}}}}} } * }~ } } *} ~* }* ~ < ~<<<***}} <<***}}}}}}}} ~ }} }* } } * < ~ ~~~<~<<*}} <<<***}}}}}}} } * < *~ ~* ~ ~~~<<<**}} ~<<***}}}}}}} * ~ } ** < } ~~~~<<<**} ~<<***}}}}}} * <} ~~ } } ~~~~<<**}} ~~<<**}}}}} }~ ~<< } ~ < ~~~~<<<**}} ~<<**}}}} } ~ ~~ } * ~ ~* ~~~~~~~<***} ~<<**}}} < **< ~ ~~~~<<***}} ~~<<**}} ~ * ~} ~~~~<<**}} ~~<**}} * ** ~ ~~~~<<**} ~<<**} } * ~ ~ ~ * ~~~<<**}} ~~<<*}} } * < } }}* ~ < ~~<<**}} ~<<**}} < < ** ~ }}}} ~ <}~~ ~~<<**}} ~<<**} * *} * ~~ ~~<<**}} ~~<**}} } * } **<<<}<}} < < ~ ~~<<**}} ~<<**}} ** ~} } }} <*}}}}} } }**} < } }~ }* ~~<<**} ~<***}} }< < <<} }<***}} } <} ~< ~ *} }~ ~} ~ ~~~<<**}} ~<**}} * <* *}*<~*} *~ }~*}} }<* < * ~ ~<<<**} ~<**}}} } } ~ < }< <}~* }} } * <} < *~ ~~<**}} ~<<**}} < <* ~ < } } ~ <}~ ~~<<**}} ~<<**}} } } } ~*} } *~ < ~~<<**}} ~<<**}}}} < } } <<~ ~* ~~~<<***} ~<***}**}} * } }}<* ~~<<**} ~<**}}}**~ } } }*<< ~~<<**} ~~<****}}*~ < }} << < ~~<<*}} ~~<***}}**} } * < ~~<<**}} ~~<<**}**< } } ~~*<~*} ~~<<**}} ~~<***** } }} ** * ~~<<**}} ~~~<*** } } * } ~~<<**}} ~~~<<< ~ * }*} } ~<<***} ~~~<< ~~ } }}} } ~~<<**}} ~<< ~ * } } * ~<<**}

j Uo V oU jjjjjoooojjjjjjjjj j ojjo VV oo U o jVjjooj j U jjjjjoojojjjjjjjj jjj j o j oo VUUoj jj oU jjjjjjoojjjjjjjj j j j V V j j o j j jjjj oVooj V UUo jjjjooojjjjjjjj jjj jo o U Vj j oU oUo V jjjjjojjjjjjjj jjjjjjo V U V V U j Vojoo U U jjjjooooojjjjj jjjj j oo ojojV o U Vj jjjjooooojjjj jjjjjj j j o U o jjjjooooojjjj jjjjjjj ooU UVoVVo UoVU o jjjjjjoojjjj jjjjjjjj joVoU V jjjjjoojjjj j jjjjjjjj o VoV VUUU V jjjjooojjjj jjjjjjjjjj oUooU U UUUVU UVUo jjoooojjj jjjjjjjjjjj VVVU UV U UUUVVUUVUVj jjjjjoojjo jjjjjjjjjj jVVVV VV UUo UUUUUVVVUooVVVoVo jjjjjoojjj jjjjjjjjjj o jVVVVU UUVVUVUU UUUUooooojVVooVo o jjjjoojjj jjjjjjjjjj VVVoVU Vjj jj jVU UooUUVjoVooVooooV jjjjjojjj jjjjjjojjj ooooVU Ujj o VjoooooooVVVoVo jjjjjojjj jjjjjjjojo jojo U UUU UUVjjoVVoUVoVUo jj jjjjjjjjj jjjjjjojo ojVU V UV U UUojooVUUU UVoj ooU UUU UVVVVVVVoVUUUo j jjjjjoojj jjjjoojj o o ooUUUUoj j jVU Voj oj jo jV UUUUUVVVVUVVUUUUV jjjjjjjojj jjjjooj j oV oj joVUU UUUVojojoVo j Uj jVUUUUUVUVUUU UUUV jjjjjjjjj jjjjojj jj oUV Uj oV jo UVUVoooU jVU oUoVVoU U UUU U jjjjjoojj jjj j VojojoUU Uo jjj jjU UooVVoU U U VU UojVoVVU U UUUj V jjjjooojj jjjjo jooooVUU V o j Uj oU UojooVV VoVVVUUUUU VooVUUoU Vj jjjjojooj jj j ooVVVVVUUo jVoV j UojjUU jo UUVjjoojjV U UUU UVVj V jjjjojooj jj ooV UVVVVoV o U Vj jU UVoooVVojooVU UU UVVo jjjjoojjj VVUU UVVjVjV UVojjj oV U VoVVojVUUVoVUU UUo jjjjojooj VVUU UU UUUoVojj oUU UoooVVoUU U VV jjjoooooj VVU VVo oVU UVoooVVVU U UVVV jjjoooooj VVU Vjj oV UVUoooVVUU UU UVV jjoooooj UVU Vjj jo VojoooVVUV UUVUVVo U jjjjoooj VVV Vjj V UVo VVVUU VoUVUVoUoo o o V jjjjjjoj oU Vo o UVj oVVU UUVVVUUVUoo j UUj jjjjjoo VV Vjj Uo jo VooVUUUVVoj j o jjjjjjj oU U V VVo j UooVUUUUooo j U jjjjjj jV V V UUVoj U VooVUUVVjoo o jjjjjj

W WWW KWWWWK MWWWWM&K&W&&M WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMM&&&M MMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM&&KK & K&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM K &K K&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWM& WWWWMK KK KWWWWWW&& MW& K MM KWWM W KKKK WM &&K K K KMK &WM&K MWWW& K&&K K&MWWWW&MMWM&K KMM&&MMMM& &&K &MWWWWWWWWWWWMK &MWWWWWWM& KM&K KWWWWWWWWWWWW&K KWW KMWWWWWWWWM KWWWMK KWWWWWWWWWWWW& &&MWWWW WWWWWWWWWW KWWWMKK WWWWWWWWWWWMK WWWWW KWWWWWWWWM MWWWWWWWWWW& MWWMWW W MWWWWWWWMK K KMK MMWWWWWWWWWMK WWWWW WW KMWWWWWW&M &WWWWM&K&&WWWWWWWM&& WWWW &W KWWWWWW&&&WWWWWWWWWMWWWWWMWM&M&K WM K&WMWWW&MWMMMMMKK K&MWWWWWMKKMK& & K &&WWM &WWM& K& K M &MWW K&&& K&WWMMM MK K&MM &MMK&&MMMMM&M&K &&K M K && K&&&&&K KKK WW KKK KK&&K WWW K K K KWWWW WWWWMMWMM WWWMM&WMKW MWMM&&M&&KM

. ,::::, . : : ,. ,, . ,. , . : , . ,: .,, , , : . . : :,,., : : .,, , . , : .. , , . ,, , :. . , . ,: , ., : .: : : , .. .,,,. : : , , . .,. .: , : . :, : : , .: , . , . . .: . . ., , . .: . . . .. .,: . : , ......, . ,: . ...,.,: : :. ,. .,: .....,...: :.: .: .....,,,.,,: . ....,,,,,..,. ,,. . .....,,,,,. ,, . , .. ...,,.... : . , ,. ...,.... ,, ,, :. .: :, ...... :: , . . ,: :, .... , .: :. , , : , :, . . , :, ., : :. ,. :: ,. ..: :::

***}}}}} ~ < ~<** < ~ < <*} ***}}}} ~ * ~~ * <*} <*}}}} ~ } < ~<*} <*}}} } ~~<* <*}} * ~ ~~<*} ~*} ~~ ~ ~ ~*} <*} < } * ~ ~<* ~<} } }*}} ~* ~<* ~*} }} < }** ** < ~~ ~<* <*} < }~ } * ~~ ~<* <*} } *~ ~<* <}}< } * < ~<* <*} * } <* ~<*} ~<* ~ } } ~*} < } } <*} ~ <} }}* ** }} ~ <} } ~*} < < } ~*} }<< ~ ~* ~*} }***~<<*}<~ } }* * <* ~ < } ~ } <*} **~ }< < ~<*}} ***<~ }< } ~ ~<**}} ****<<~ *} **}}*<< *}}} ******<~ <*} *~*<<<} * <<****<<<~ <} }}< ~~<* ~ <<<<<<<*<<~~ <} }< ~<**} ~~~~~<<<<<<<~~ < < <*} }<~ <**}}}

j jjV V o j jjjjjjj jj oV jU j o oVooUU jjjjjj jj V jjjjj jjj jVVoVjjU jjjjj jjo oV VU U jjjj jjjo jV U U UVooUo jjjj jjjj oo o jU VjoooV jjjj jjjo oV VVojV Uj jU UVoVV j jjjj jjo U V j UVoVV j oVV U jjjj jo ooU U o U joU U UU oVV U jjjj j jUUVoo Uo ooVVU V jjoo j Uj U oVU UV jjoo U j jjV VVo o V joo j j VoUo joo V Vj jVVo U j jo VVj Vo VjVo jj V oo oV U V VoVo j V o U UUVj j j o jo U jo j V U Uj o jo V U j U U V U jjo UUV o oU UU UVUUVUo V jj oVoV UU UVVVoVV j j oojVUU UVU VVU UVojojjo o o jjoVUUU UV UVoo oUUUUVj joVUU UUUUU UUVjj oV UVVV j j joVUUUUUUUVo jjVVVVVoo j joVVVVooo jooVVVoo U j jj jjooooo V