“Butt-head: [to McVicker] You just weren't reaching us, dude. Beavis: Yeah, and if you try reaching for us, I'll kick you in the nads!”Tagged: reaching, Double Entendre
“Beavis, I have seen the top of the mountain, and it is good.”Tagged: I have been to the mountaintop, it is good
“T.V. voiceover: You're watching PBS. Butt-head: He said 'B.S.' Beavis: But first he said 'pee.'”Tagged: Juvenile Humor, PBS
“Oprah: Butt-head, you've slept with over 5,000 women. How do you explain the attraction to you? Butt-head: Uh…just look at me!”Tagged: Oprah Winfrey, Hubris
“Daria: You guys will never graduate. Butt-head: Uhh…never masturbate?”Tagged: graduate, masturbate, Misheard
“[Beavis and Butt-head walk up to a female police officer who is posing as a prostitute] Butt-head: Hey, baby…so, like, how much? Officer: Fifty. Butt-head: Cool. Beavis, do you have fifty cents?”Tagged: undercover cop, prostitution
“Bartender: Look, I told you kids! You have no I.D.'s, you look underage, and if I serve you, I'll go to jail! Butt-head: Uhh…how about one for the road?”Tagged: underage drinking, not taking "No" for an answer, One for the Road
“[as Abraham Lincoln giving the Gettysburg Address] When I almost scored with four chicks seven years ago, this one chick's father brought forth upon me a prostitute. Huh-huh. Because some dudes just weren't created equal. Huh-huh.”Tagged: Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg Address, Prostitute
“Uhh, thank you oh great master for your wisdom. But, uh, we were like wondering if you could like, bite us?”Tagged: Wisdom, bite us
“Uh, did anyone ever tell you sound boring on the phone? Can you like, shut up, and tell me how to get this computer to show porn?”Tagged: tech support, Boring, Porn
“Principal McVicker: You two are the worst students in this school has ever had. And now because of that No Child Left Behind law, we may lose our funding! Teachers will get laid off, I could lose my job! Butt-Head: Uh…did you say something about a child's behind? Beavis: Yeah, he definitely said…”Tagged: no child left behind, Child Molestation