“Eleanor: I mean, somebody royally forked up. Somebody forked up. Why can't I say 'fork'? Chidi: If you're trying to curse, you can't here. I guess a lot of people in this neighborhood don't like it, so it's prohibited. Eleanor: That's bullshirt.”Tagged: Cursing, Heaven, Fork, joke, comedy
“Chidi: You are too selfish to ever be a good person. Eleanor: Well, I think you're wrong. Chidi: What country am I from, again? Eleanor: Sensodyne. Chidi: That is a brand of toothpaste.”Tagged: Selfish, joke, Ignorance, Good
“When I told a boyfriend something was 'no big deal,' it meant anything from 'I just bought weed from your nephew,' to 'I secretly befriended your ex-girlfriend last year, things got out of hand, and now I'm her bridesmaid.'”Tagged: joke, terrible, Boyfriend, Relationship
“Eleanor: Listen, man, I'm dead, you're dead, we all died, and now we're killing her. Pay it forward. Chidi: Uh, no, that's not what that means at all.”Tagged: Death, dead, Murder, joke
“Why do bad things always happen to mediocre people who are lying about their identities?”Tagged: lying, Identity, Bad People, Bad
“Eleanor: Ugh, I hate jazz. Every jazz song is like 40 minutes long. It's like, we get it. You can blow on a trumpet. Wrap it up, Elton John. Chidi: Famously a piano player.”Tagged: Jazz, Music, Elton John, Celebrities, joke
“There are way more things I hate about Chidi than like about him. His stupid Clark Kent glasses, his extensive turtleneck collection, oh, and he loves ethics so much. He once talked about John Rawls for two hours... I timed it. And he only stopped because he saw me timing him. Granted, he laughed,…”Tagged: Love, Relationships, Philosophy, Patience, kindness
“You saw us all on Earth: a selfish ass, an idiot DJ, a tortured academic, a hot, rich fraud with legs for days... Side note, I might legit be into Tahani.”Tagged: LGBT, Earth, Hell, Epiphany, realization
“I've only ever said 'I love you' to two men my entire life, Stone Cold Steve Austin and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Stone Cold Steve Austin.”Tagged: Stone Cold Steve Austin, Celebrities, Pop Culture, joke, Love
“All humans are aware of death. So we're all a little bit sad all the time. That's just the deal.”Tagged: Death, Mortality
“I mean, whenever I would do something crappy on Earth, there would be a little tiny voice in the back of my head that would say, 'Eleanor, don't grab that handful of olives from the salad bar. You know, you didn't pay for that,' or 'Eleanor, don't spit those olive pits onto the floor of the grocery…”Tagged: Conscience, Bad, Olives, food, Bad Deed
“I know it sounds crazy, but if it weren’t crazy, they wouldn’t call it a leap of faith. They’d call it a sit of doubting.”Tagged: Leap of Faith, Faith, The Good Place, TV
“I don't know about you guys, but I am definitely the best version of myself.”Tagged: The Good Place, Best Self, Being Your Best
“What if lying is ethical in this situation? What if certain actions aren't universally good or bad?”Tagged: Good Or Bad, Ethics