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Ilana Glazer

50 quotesTelevision Actor · Born Apr 12, 1987 · United States Of America · Female

Ilana Rose Glazer (born April 12, 1987) is an American comedian, writer, and actress. She is best known for co-creating, co-starring (and on some occasions co-writing) for the Comedy Central series Broad City with Abbi Jacobson, based on the web series of the same name. 2Early life Glazer is the daughter of Sandi (née Wexler) and Larry Glazer, who both work in insurance and finance. She grew up in St. James, New York, with her brother, Eliot, and was raised in a Reform Jewish household. She went to Smithtown High School in Smithtown, New York. 2Career 3Early work Glazer began taking classes at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in 2006 and performed around New York City doing improv and stand-up for the next several years. 3Broad City 4Development In 2009, along with co-creator Abbi Jacobson, Glazer began shooting Broad City, a web series starring the two as fictionalized versions of themselves. The series was nominated for an ECNY Award for 'Best Web Series' and was positively received, garnering attention from major media outlets such as Entertainment Weekly, USA Today, and The Wall Street Journal. The series caught the attention of Amy Poehler, who subsequently met with Glazer and Jacobson to help them shop a pilot script based on the serie

All Sex (7)Vagina (6)responsible (3)Life (3)pot (3)masturbation (3)Powerful (2)Basketball Shorts (2)upset (2)Advice (2)Location (2)Nature (2)reduce (2)hookups (2)other names for vagina (2)

From “Mochalatta Chills”

Check it. I got a dirty ass martini and a clean white power suit.

check it power suit play on words martini

My biggest weakness is that I lose my purse a lot.

Weakness Interview Losing purse mistake

Do you ever get hair from your head stuck in your buttcrack in the shower?

shower Buttcrack

From “The Last Supper”

Abbi, why wouldn't we be rating them on dick size? It's all I can see. Those b-ball shorts are God's gift. If you train your eyes, you can see their religion.

Dick Size Basketball Shorts Religion Circumcision

Abbi, why wouldn't we be rating them on dick size? It's all I can see. Those b-ball shorts are God's gift. If you train your eyes, you can see their religion.

Dick Size Basketball Shorts Religion Circumcision

Nose, vagina, butthole. If God didn’t want us to put our fingers in there, then why did she make them perfectly finger-sized?

nose Vagina Butthole God

Nose, vagina, butthole. If God didn’t want us to put our fingers in there, then why did she make them perfectly finger-sized?

nose Vagina Butthole God

From “2016”

I know you from your ass better than I know your face.

ass face

From “Two Chainz”

You look sexy and vivacious and artsy and, like, young-wife material but, like, taut and teasy still. It’s a perfect combo.

Sexy Vivacious Artsy Wife Material

Honey, I have a cyst on my uterus and I need to get fucked until it pops.

Cyst uterus Fucked

From “Pu$$y Weed”

Let's meet at the ATM where the dude puked on you last week.

atm puke last week Location Meeting

Let's meet at the ATM where the dude puked on you last week.

atm puke last week Location Meeting

We ran into like a pickle. . . wall. I don't know what the saying is.

in a pickle hit a wall expressions

We ran into like a pickle. . . wall. I don't know what the saying is.

in a pickle hit a wall expressions

I was curious to see if you were still selling the greenery. Cuz I'm looking to buy some um greenery.

Selling Buying Weed pot greenery

Abbi: I can't really imagine what it's life for people with blue eyes. Ilana: No idea, other than feeling like a fucking freak.

Blue Eyes Freak Life

Abbi: I can't really imagine what it's life for people with blue eyes. Ilana: No idea, other than feeling like a fucking freak.

Blue Eyes Freak Life

I’m an adult and I’m responsible. Let’s go get some candy.

adult responsible candy

The most powerful moment in a woman's life. Your first grey hair.

Powerful Grey Hair Woman coming of age

The most powerful moment in a woman's life. Your first grey hair.

Powerful Grey Hair Woman coming of age

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