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Ilana Wexler

30 quotes

All Sex (6)Vagina (3)Poop (2)cum (2)Life (2)face (2)dare (1)Wife Material (1)quarters (1)Nature (1)Questions (1)love it (1)Cyst (1)Vivacious (1)Basketball Shorts (1)

From “Mochalatta Chills”

Check it. I got a dirty ass martini and a clean white power suit.

check it power suit play on words martini

My biggest weakness is that I lose my purse a lot.

Weakness Interview Losing purse mistake

Do you ever get hair from your head stuck in your buttcrack in the shower?

shower Buttcrack

From “The Last Supper”

Abbi, why wouldn't we be rating them on dick size? It's all I can see. Those b-ball shorts are God's gift. If you train your eyes, you can see their religion.

Dick Size Basketball Shorts Religion Circumcision

Nose, vagina, butthole. If God didn’t want us to put our fingers in there, then why did she make them perfectly finger-sized?

nose Vagina Butthole God

From “2016”

I know you from your ass better than I know your face.

ass face

From “Two Chainz”

You look sexy and vivacious and artsy and, like, young-wife material but, like, taut and teasy still. It’s a perfect combo.

Sexy Vivacious Artsy Wife Material

Honey, I have a cyst on my uterus and I need to get fucked until it pops.

Cyst uterus Fucked

From “Pu$$y Weed”

Let's meet at the ATM where the dude puked on you last week.

atm puke last week Location Meeting

We ran into like a pickle. . . wall. I don't know what the saying is.

in a pickle hit a wall expressions

Abbi: I can't really imagine what it's life for people with blue eyes. Ilana: No idea, other than feeling like a fucking freak.

Blue Eyes Freak Life

The most powerful moment in a woman's life. Your first grey hair.

Powerful Grey Hair Woman coming of age

The vah-yine-yah is nature's pocket. It's natural and responsible.

Vagina Nature Natural responsible Handy

From “What a Wonderful World”

That's cool. I respect you, respecting me. I am going to respect your dick later.

cool Respect Sex

From “Working Girls”

You're leaving me like tight and dry.

Leaving tight dry Vagina Abandoned

From “Hurricane Wanda”

Ilana: Abbi, truth or dare? Abbi: You know what, I'm gonna go with dare. Ilana: I dare you to suck Jeremy's dick.

Truth dare Game suck Sex

I am a doo-doo ninja.

Poop Ninja other names for poop

From “Destination”

You said that if you ever were going to do a same sex experimentation, it was going to be with me.

same sex upset offer Experimentation

From “Apartment Hunters”

I'd like to cash these nickels, and I'll have them in quarters, please.

Bank Cash Request Nickles quarters

From “Knockoffs”

THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!

Excited Happy Overwhelmed happiest day of my life Life

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