You put the balm on? Who told you to put the balm on? I didn't tell you to put the balm on. Why'd you put the balm on? You haven't even been to see the doctor. If you’re gonna put a balm on, let a doctor put a balm on.
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Jackie Chiles
Jackie Chiles is a fictional character portrayed by American actor Phil Morris in the NBC sitcom Seinfeld. He appears in the series' seventh through ninth seasons as Cosmo Kramer's lawyer. 2Character Chiles is a parody of famed attorney Johnnie Cochran; both are bespectacled, mustachioed, well-dressed, African American lawyers with the same initials and penchants for grandiose vocabulary. According to the diplomas in his office, Chiles attended Dartmouth College and Stanford Law School. Morris also emulates Cochran's distinctive enunciation and delivery. After appearing in several episodes during the series' later years, Chiles, along with many other minor characters from the show's past, appeared again in the program's finale and was crucial in failing to achieve acquittal of the characters on charges of violating the Good Samaritan Law. Jackie's catchphrase is saying several adjectives in succession for added emphasis, such as "lewd, lascivious, salacious, outrageous!" Morris also planned to star as Chiles in a spin-off, but the pilot never came to fruition. NBC executives have claimed that a pilot was never discussed with them. After appearing in character as Chiles in an advertisement for the Honda Odyssey and Diet Dr Pepper, Morris reprised the character again in 2010 exclusively for Will Ferrell's Funny or Die website. 2Appearances Season Seven: "The Maestro" — Kramer sneaks a cafe latte into a movie theatre and burns himself while trying to climb over the legs of another patron — an obvious satire of the 1994 lawsuit Liebeck
Yeah, that's going to be a problem. It's gonna be a problem for them. This a clear violation of your rights as a consumer. It's an infringement on your constitutional rights. It's outrageous, egregious, preposterous.
Rugged? The man's a goblin. He's only been exposed to smoke for four days. By the time this case gets to trial, he’ll be nothing more than a shrunken head.
This is the most public yet of my many humiliations.
Miss Wilkie, your tobacco company has turned this beautiful specimen into a horrible, twisted freak.