The Abstinence

by David Mandel, Steve Koren, Jerry Seinfeld, Andy Ackerman, Fern Fitzgerald and 26 others(7 total)

George's girlfriend has mononucleosis and he can't have sex with her for six weeks. Elaine's met a doctor who's almost gotten his license to practice. Jerry agrees to appear at career day at his former junior high school, first he is bumped and then there

Characters

David Mandel (7)Steve Koren (7)Jerry Seinfeld (4)Phil Morris (3)Jackie Chiles (3)Cosmo Kramer (1)Bob Odenkirk (1)Michael Richards (1)Ben (1)

I'm sorry, Elaine. I always knew that after I became a doctor, I would dump whoever I was with and find someone better. That's the dream of becoming a doctor.

— David Mandel, Steve Koren, Ben, Bob Odenkirk, imdb.com

doctors Players Dating

Rugged? The man's a goblin. He's only been exposed to smoke for four days. By the time this case gets to trial, he’ll be nothing more than a shrunken head.

— David Mandel, Steve Koren, Jackie Chiles, Phil Morris, imdb.com

Rugged Goblins smoking Lawsuits Tobacco

This is the most public yet of my many humiliations.

— David Mandel, Steve Koren, Jackie Chiles, Phil Morris, imdb.com

Public Humiliation

Miss Wilkie, your tobacco company has turned this beautiful specimen into a horrible, twisted freak.

— David Mandel, Steve Koren, Jackie Chiles, Phil Morris, imdb.com

smoking Lawyers Lawsuits Freaks Hyperbole

Jerry, my face is my livelihood, my allure...my twinkle! Everything I have I owe to this face.

— David Mandel, Steve Koren, Cosmo Kramer, Michael Richards, imdb.com

face Visage Livelihood Vanity

To a woman, sex is like the garbage man. You just take for granted the fact that any time you put some trash out on the street, a guy in a jumpsuit's gonna come along and pick it up. But now, it's like a garbage strike. The bags are piling up in your head. The sidewalk is blocked. Nothing's getting…

— David Mandel, Steve Koren, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Sex Abstinence Trash garbage Garbage Strike

I mean, let's say this is your brain. OK, from what I know about you, your brain consists of two parts: the intellect, represented here, and the part obsessed with sex. Now, granted, you have extracted an astonishing amount from this little scrap. But with no-sex—Louise, this previously useless lump…

— David Mandel, Steve Koren, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Sex Abstinence Brain

& W WM W W & WMWW W& WWW& WWWW WWM WWW W KWW& W K WMW WW MWW MMW WW WW WMW WW& KWM& W K WMW WMWW W MWW W W & WWW WWW& W W WWW KWWW W W WWW W& W W W W W WK W &W W W &W W W W W KW W W W WK WW WW W &W W W W W W KW WK W W W W W &W WWWW W W W WK W W WM&WW W& W W WK &W W K W WW W W WW W W W W W & W W W & W W W WW W W WW W W W WW W W W WK WW W W W& W W WK W W W K K & &W MW WKK K WM WW W W &W WM W KW MW W W W K WW K WW KW& WK W & MW& KM W M& WW& WWK M & K & & & && MW W & & & && K K K W W WW WW & K& K &K && & && &K K && KM W M MK KKK W &W KW W W W WK WW WW WM W W W WW WM WW WW WWK W W W WK W W W KW MW W W W& W W W W W W W W W W W WW & W W WW MW W W &W W W W W W W W W & WW WW W WW W W&W W W K W W W W W W WK W W W W & W W W WW W & &W W W WW KK W W & W WW W W WMW M K &WWW W W W &K W W W WMW K W W W W KWWW W K &WWW W&W M W& KWWW WWW W W WWW W WWMW W W K W M W KW W &WKWW W MW W WK W&MW W W W W W WW KW WKWW W &W W &W WW WW W WKKW WMKW &W W WKWW&WW M& W KM W MW W WW W W W &KW WW W W W W W W W W M W W W W W W W W W W W WM&W &W W WKMW W &W WMWW WWKW W W W M& W W&WW W W W W W W W W&&W WW&W W W W W W WK W MW &MMMMMMMMW&MMWWM&WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWW&&&&MWMMMMMWWM&&&MMMW&& M&KKKK&KKKKKKKKK K&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&K &&&&&&&&&&K MWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW W&&&MMMMMMMMMMK &MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM&&K KMMMMMMMWMWWWW& WWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMW WMMMMMMMMM&&K KWWWWWWMMMWWWM&K K&MMMMMMMMMMMMWM WWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMW MMMMMMMMMM&K KWWMM& WWWWWWWMKKKKK&K &MMMMMMMMMMMMMW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWK KWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMW &&MMMMMM&&&K &M&KK &MMMMMMMMMMMMMW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWWWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMW M&MMMM& &&&&K MWWM &MMMMMMMMMMMMMW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWW K& WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMW &&MM& MWM&K K K&K KMMMMMMMMMMMMMW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMMWWWWMMWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMW K &WMK WWMMK K&MMM&MMMMMM&&W WWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&MWWWWMMWWWWWWWWWWW MWWWWWWM &WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMW &M&K &WWWWWW &&&&&&&MMM&&&M WWWWWWWWWWWWWWW&MMWWWMMWWWWWWWWWWW MW W KWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMW M& WWWWWWWM K&&&&&&&&&&&&M

: : :

} < * } } *} * * < } * } * } } < * * * * * } } } * * * * < < } * }* } } } }* < < }} * * * } } * * * < < < * } } < < < } } } * * } *} } * * <} * < } * < * } *< } < } * } ** }* } } * < * < < < } * < ** ** } * * } } < * * < * < < *< ~ * < < < ~~ < ~ < < } < < < } ~ ~ ~~ ~ < * < < < * ~ } <* * ~ < < } < ~ < ~ ~ * * ~ ~ * < < } < ~ < < ~ } < < * ~ ** << ~< * }***<<<<<<} } }}***} }********<<} }* } }*<*<*<<<*}} * }} *<<<<<* *< * <<<<<<< }} **<} } } *<<<* }}*****<* } **<*} } ~ } } }**}} }*<*} ******}***<*} **} *<<<<<< *~ <}} }}*}**********<<******}**<<<<<<<} < }**}}*<~~<*}} }******<***<}}<<******<<<<<<<< } } *~ ~<<<<<*} }< ******<<***< ****<*}*<<<<<<<< } }

V o o o j o j Uj j j o V V U U j jj V o U U Vo j j UU oUU UU Vo V UU j U V oVU V Uo V VU VV U j V U V V Vo V V o V j U o oj V o VV o U o U UV j o V o Vj oU U U oV o V V V j j U j j o UU V j U V V V V V oVj jV Vo UVj U V j V o U Uj oV VU V V jV U U U o Vo U jU U o o VU V V V Ujo o V o V o j U o j V V V j U j oV j oj j j o UVUo o V j oo o U VV jV j o U U j VV j oV U VV V U jU j o o U V j j o j j o o o oo U U j U o U U o o o V j U j j U V V o U UU V o VV o j V j o j UU j o j o V o U V o V U V U o U o U V UVooVU Uj oVVoVU V o V UVj jooV UooVUUVo j Uoj jooo jV j VV UVj U Uoj oUUVj joojoU j o jjV VU UVoj jVVj jUUUo oVUUVoj oVUooU j o j UVVVVoV UUVo j jo oUVoj jV V j oU j j oo U Uo jU UUUo U j jj V o jV j j j o VU UVj V UVVVjU o j j jU jV UVj Uoj jU j j jV j U V U j jU Uooj Uj j o

M & K W MK && W & M & W & W &M K &K &W M & W W & K KM K K & M M & W W K W & && & &M WWWWWMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWMWWWWWWW WWWWK WWWWWW KWMMWW MMMMMW&WMWWWWW WWWWW&WMWWMWW WMK MK & &&&&M MMMMMM&MM&WWWW WW WMWW&WMWWMWW MK KK &&&&& MMMMMM&&M&WWWW KMKKWMWM&WMWWMWW & WWWK KKKK& MMMMMM&KM&&WWW& MKWWWWMMWMWWMWW W&WWW&W K MW&MMMM M&KMWWW WW&WWMMWMWWMWW WWWWWWM KKKKK &W&MMMM &&KMW& MWWMMMW&&MMWWMWW WWWKMW KK &W&MMMM &&KMWKWWWWWWW&&MMMWMWWW KWW& K KW&MMWW &MK& WMKMKWMMWMWWW MW& K&& K KWMMWWW &M&MM KK&WMWWWWWW KWWKK K KKK KWMMWWW &MK&W W W&MWWMWWW MWWWK KK & KK KWMMMWWK&MK&W WWMKMMWWMWWW WWWWK KM &WMMWWW&&MKM &WWMMMMWWWWWW WWWWWW KMW &WMMMWW&MW& MW WWWMMWWWWWW WWWWWW& K K KMWK &W&M&WWM&M& WMMWWWWWW MKWWWK KMM &WMM&MWWWW WMWWWWWW WWW &W MWWWWWWK WWWWWWWW WWM MKK & MWWWWWWW & WWM

: : : : . , , : :: , , : : , . : : : : : , , : , : .: : : : . , . . . . : ,: :: . . ... ,::. . . : . ,,,..,. . . , : .,..,.. : . . ..., : . .. : :. ,,,. . : ,. : : : : . .: . . : , . . , : . . . : ..... .,,, . . : ,:. . .. . , :. :, :,. :. : ,, , : . : , , . : ,,:: . . . : , : : :

< * << ~~~~~~*~<<~ * <~ ~} ~ <~~ *}~} <*< } *}* ~ * } * * } ~ * * } *} ~ *}~ < * } < < *** } } ~} * } * } * <}< } } }< * < *} } < ~< } ~ * ~ << } <*~ < }< < ** } ~ < < ***< <<* } ~ }}}<< ****<*<}}} }**} }}}<*~*<*}<*} *<<<*< **<<****}~ ~~***}*~ }} }< *** ~* }* ~ < ~} <* } } } < ~ ~~ } ~ ~ } ~ ~ * ~ ~ ~ * < } ~ ~<*~~ ~ * <<~} <~<}} * } * ~ <*< } ~~< }~ * } <~~ ~ ~ }<<< } }~ < ~ }*< ~< }~~~< }< } * ~ ~ < * * ~* * ~~~~

U j V o VV j o j j U j UV jU V V U o o Vooo V o o Vj oVoooVU VVU V o V UjV o j oo jj o j V jj j o j oUj j V U o U oo j V j j jo o U oVoj U U U V oV U j V j j j V V o jj jVV o o U o j oj ooo o j jV o j j o VV U j U j Vj o j o V U o U jo j V j U j V U j Uj UUUU o U jV o U V j V U UUj V j o U o UUUj U o j U V UUUo U j U UU U UUUUo U o U j VUUV UU o UUo j VUVVUUo V VUVUo o o V UVoUUU VoUUUo U o V o Uo VV U UUUo U o j Voo V o o V j V o Uo o V o UU U Vo VUU V UUUUU U o j VVVjV o V j Vjo