“Stan, we can't have a grown woman acting like a child in our house. This ain't no Disney Channel.”Tagged: Child, grown woman, Disney Channel, Acting
“You sound like the cops. They've given up on the case already too. To them, I'm just one more white kid who got stabbed in a bowling alley.”Tagged: Cops, Given Up, case, Stabbed, Bowling Alley
“Pedophile: So, uh, which boy is yours? Stan: The hot one, duh.”Tagged: Pedophile, Hot, Attractive, Son, obvious
“You were just humming the Cheers theme song and shitting yourself.”Tagged: Cheers, Theme Song, Shitting, Poop, high
“Stan: Uh... if I didn't care about historical accuracy, would I have stolen the actual Spirit of St. Louis from the Smithsonian? Steve: What?! Stan: The toughest part was convincing the guard I came in with it.”Tagged: History, Stealing, convincing, Smithsonian, Gaurd
“I love myself all the time. At least once in the morning, and usually right before I go to sleep.”Tagged: Love, love myself, everyday, Evening, Morning
“I gotta take this. It's my ac-clown-tant... you know, a clown-accountant. He's got this giant calculator that only ever adds up to boobs. Pretty funny, but frankly, I think he's been stealing from me.”Tagged: accountant, Calculator, Addition, Stealing, Money