Just 'cause you're beautiful, that doesn't mean that you can treat people like they don't matter.
Catalog
Kirsten Smith
It's not every day you find a girl who'll flash someone to get you out of detention.
Mr. Morgan, is there any chance we could get Kat to take her Midol before she comes to class?
Someday, you gonna get bitch-slapped and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it.
Kat Stratford: You can't just buy me a guitar every time you screw up, you know? Patrick: Yeah, I know. But then, you know, there's always drums, and bass, and maybe even one day a tambourine.
What is it with this chick? She have beer-flavored nipples?
Ooh, see that, there.
Patrick: Some asshole paid me to take out this really great girl. Kat Stratford: Is that right? Patrick: Yeah, but I screwed up. I, um, I fell for her.
I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate…
Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?
Kat Stratford: We're going now. Walter Stratford: Alright, wait a minute. No drinking, no drugs, no kissing, no tattoos, no piercings, no ritual animal slaughters of any kind. Oh, God, I'm giving them ideas.
Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.
Patrick: Well maybe you're not afraid of me but I'm sure you've thought about me naked, huh? Kat Stratford: [sarcastically] Am I that transparent? I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby.
I guess in this society, being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time.
And last week I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.
[Elle sees David the geek trying unsuccessfully to get a date with two lovely girls, who mock him, and decides to help by making the girls think she dated David] Elle: Excuse me. [Elle turns around and slaps David] Elle: Why didn’t you call me? We spent a beautiful night together and I haven’t heard…
[after Warner asks her out after the trial] But if I’m going to be a partner in a law firm by the time I’m 30, I need a boyfriend who’s not such a complete bonehead.
Elle: [Elle is cross-examining Chutney Windham] Ms. Windham, what had you done earlier that day? Chutney Windham: I got up. Got a latte. Went to the gym. Got a perm and came home. Elle: Where you got in the shower? The Honorable Marina R. Bickford: I believe the witness has made it clear that she…
Elle’s Mother: Honey, you were First Runner-Up at the ‘Miss Hawaiian Tropics’ contest. Why are you going to throw that all away? Elle: Going to Harvard is the only way I’m going to get the love of my life back. Elle’s Father: Oh, sweetheart, you don’t need law school. Law school is for people who…
Elle: [on video essay] ...and that’s why you should vote for me. Elle Woods: future lawyer for the class of 2004. Admissions Guy: She does have a 4.0 from CULA and she got a 179 on LSATs. Head of Admissions: Fashion major? Admissions Guy: Well, sir, we’ve never had one before and aren’t we always…