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Larry David

484 quotesTelevision Actor · Born Jul 2, 1947 · United States Of America · Male

Lawrence Gene "Larry" David (born July 2, 1947) is an American comedian, writer, actor, playwright, and television producer. He and Jerry Seinfeld created the television series Seinfeld, where he served as its head writer and executive producer from 1989 to 1996. David has subsequently gained further recognition for the HBO series Curb Your Enthusiasm, which he also created, in which he stars as a semi-fictionalized version of himself. He is worth an estimated $900 million US dollars. David's work won him a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Comedy Series in 1993. Formerly a stand-up comedian, David went into television comedy, writing and starring in ABC's Fridays, as well as writing briefly for Saturday Night Live. He has won two Primetime Emmy Awards, and was voted by fellow comedians and comedy insiders as the 23rd greatest comedy star ever in a 2004 British poll to select "The Comedian's Comedian". 2Early life David was born in the neighborhood of Sheepshead Bay, in Brooklyn, New York, the son of Rose (née Ratner) and Morty David, who was a men's clothing manufacturer. His family is Jewish. He graduated from Sheepshead Bay High School, and then from the University of Maryland, College Park with a bachelor's degree in Histor

All Sex (23)penis (18)Dating (12)Breakups (10)dog (9)Jewish (9)Death (8)Problem (8)Jew (7)Relationships (7)Nudity (7)Attraction (7)Men (7)racist (6)doctor (6)

From “Denise Handicapped”

No, all I'm wondering is this, if you took an American kid who's never used chopsticks before and a Chinese kid who's never used chopsticks before, would the Chinese kid do better?

American Chinese Chopsticks do better

No, all I'm wondering is this, if you took an American kid who's never used chopsticks before and a Chinese kid who's never used chopsticks before, would the Chinese kid do better?

American Chinese Chopsticks do better

From “Officer Krupke”

I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.

enjoy women's panties Comfort

I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.

enjoy women's panties Comfort

I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.

enjoy women's panties Comfort

From “Palestinian Chicken”

Larry: Yeah. Small price to pay for the best sex that I ever had, anywhere! This woman is amazing. Marty: So when did your orgasm. When she said she'll fuck the Jew out of you?

Sex Amazing orgasm Jew

You know what it is? You're always attracted to someone who doesn't want you, right? Well, here you have somebody who not only doesn't want you... doesn't even acknowledge your right to exist, wants your destruction! That's a turn-on.

attracted acknowledge Existence turn on

You know what it is? You're always attracted to someone who doesn't want you, right? Well, here you have somebody who not only doesn't want you... doesn't even acknowledge your right to exist, wants your destruction! That's a turn-on.

attracted acknowledge Existence turn on

You know what it is? You're always attracted to someone who doesn't want you, right? Well, here you have somebody who not only doesn't want you... doesn't even acknowledge your right to exist, wants your destruction! That's a turn-on.

attracted acknowledge Existence turn on

From “Vow of Silence”

Jeff: Seriously, how much would it take for you to see Eat, Pray, Love? Larry: $3,000.

Eat Pray Love Money cost

Jeff: Seriously, how much would it take for you to see Eat, Pray, Love? Larry: $3,000.

Eat Pray Love Money cost

Jeff: Seriously, how much would it take for you to see Eat, Pray, Love? Larry: $3,000.

Eat Pray Love Money cost

From “The Hero”

I'm trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.

elevate small talk medium talk

I'm trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.

elevate small talk medium talk

I'm trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.

elevate small talk medium talk

From “The Bi-Sexual”

You know how lesbians are. You know what a lesbian brings on a second date, right? A U-Haul.

Lesbians Second Date U-Haul

You god damn right I'm livin large! I just had a croissant filled with mutha fuckin' champagne!

Living Large Money wealthy croissant champagne

From “Car Periscope”

My grandfather had dementia. He wasn't a racist. He thought I was his dead sister, but he wasn't a racist.

grandfather Dementia racist dead sister

My grandfather had dementia. He wasn't a racist. He thought I was his dead sister, but he wasn't a racist.

grandfather Dementia racist dead sister

My grandfather had dementia. He wasn't a racist. He thought I was his dead sister, but he wasn't a racist.

grandfather Dementia racist dead sister

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