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Larry David

484 quotesTelevision Actor · Born Jul 2, 1947 · United States Of America · Male

Lawrence Gene "Larry" David (born July 2, 1947) is an American comedian, writer, actor, playwright, and television producer. He and Jerry Seinfeld created the television series Seinfeld, where he served as its head writer and executive producer from 1989 to 1996. David has subsequently gained further recognition for the HBO series Curb Your Enthusiasm, which he also created, in which he stars as a semi-fictionalized version of himself. He is worth an estimated $900 million US dollars. David's work won him a Primetime Emmy Award for Outstanding Comedy Series in 1993. Formerly a stand-up comedian, David went into television comedy, writing and starring in ABC's Fridays, as well as writing briefly for Saturday Night Live. He has won two Primetime Emmy Awards, and was voted by fellow comedians and comedy insiders as the 23rd greatest comedy star ever in a 2004 British poll to select "The Comedian's Comedian". 2Early life David was born in the neighborhood of Sheepshead Bay, in Brooklyn, New York, the son of Rose (née Ratner) and Morty David, who was a men's clothing manufacturer. His family is Jewish. He graduated from Sheepshead Bay High School, and then from the University of Maryland, College Park with a bachelor's degree in Histor

All Sex (23)penis (18)Dating (12)Breakups (10)dog (9)Jewish (9)Death (8)Problem (8)Jew (7)Relationships (7)Nudity (7)Attraction (7)Men (7)racist (6)doctor (6)

From “The Pony Remark”

You know, I've been thinking. I cannot envision any circumstances in which I'll ever have the opportunity to have sex again. How's it gonna happen? I just don't see how it could occur.

Hopelessness Dating Despair Sex

From “The Phone Message”

She invited me up. Coffee's not coffee, coffee is sex.

Coffee Sex Miscommunication

From “The Deal”

What is it about sex that just disrupts everything? Is it the touching? Is it the nudity?

Sex Nudity

That's why I don't have cable in my house. Because of that naked station. If I had that in my house, I would never turn it off. I wouldn't sleep, I wouldn't eat. Eventually, firemen would have to break through the door, they'd find me sitting there in my pajamas with drool coming down my face.

Cable TV Pornography masturbation Sex

I have a vague recollection of doing something with someone, but it was a long, long time ago.

Sex Abstinence

From “The Red Dot”

So we started drinking, and I'll tell you I don't know if it was the alcohol or the ammonia, but the next think I knew she was mopping the floor with me.

Sex Drunk Alcohol

From “The Mango”

Elaine: All right, let’s go, I’ll give you half an hour. Jerry: You’re serious? Elaine: Jerry, we have to have sex to save the friendship. Jerry: Sex to SAVE the friendship. Well if we have to, we have to.

Sex Sex and Friendships

Look, Jerry, we have to have sex to save the friendship.

Sex Friendship FWB

It's all your fault! You and Elaine! All that orgasm talk. She did have an orgasm, she didn't have an orgasm. Orgasm this, orgasm that. I got so focused on it. I started to panic and boom, I lost it. I tried everything, I was talking to him: 'Please wake up, do something.'

orgasm Frigidity Sex Faking Orgasm Impotence

You know, nobody knows what to do. You just close your eyes and you hope for the best. I really think they're happy if you just make an effort.

Sex Female Orgasm Effort

The female orgasm is kinda like the bat cave. A very few people know where it is and if you're lucky enough to see it you probably don't know how you got there and you can't find you way back after you left. You know there are two types of female orgasm: the real and the fake. And I'll tell you…

orgasm Female Orgasm Faking it Sex

From “The Puffy Shirt”

Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship.

Borrowing Money Sex Relationship

Borrowing money from a friend is like having sex. It just completely changes the relationship.

Borrowing Money Sex Friends and Sex

From “The Non-Fat Yogurt”

You don't eat Oreos? The way you break them open? You're practically having sex with them.

Oreos Sex Gluttony

From “The Stand-In”

If I was a woman I'd be down at the dock waiting for the fleet to come in.

Sex Promiscuity Female Sex Drive Sluts

From “The Postponement”

You didn't have makeup sex? How could you not have makeup sex? I mean that's the best feature of the heavy relationship.

Breakups arguments Sex Makeup Sex Relationshps

From “The Group”

Hello, I had sex with my uncle when I was 12. He lived in Great Neck, he was a doctor. An osteopath--I don't even know what they do, but I know they're doctors. Something to do with muscles, I think. Neither here nor there.

Sex Uncle Incest doctor side tracked

Hello, I had sex with my uncle when I was 12. He lived in Great Neck, he was a doctor. An osteopath--I don't even know what they do, but I know they're doctors. Something to do with muscles, I think. Neither here nor there.

Sex Uncle Incest doctor side tracked

Hello, I had sex with my uncle when I was 12. He lived in Great Neck, he was a doctor. An osteopath--I don't even know what they do, but I know they're doctors. Something to do with muscles, I think. Neither here nor there.

Sex Uncle Incest doctor side tracked

From “The Surrogate”

Let me ask you a question. You've slept with a lot of white men, a lot of black men, I'm sure? Is there any discernible difference?

white Black Race Sex difference

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